When It All Broke Down
by thatgleekychick
Summary: "I don't want to grow old calling you my boyfriend. I don't want our children to grow up and have to ask why mommy and daddy aren't married. My dads aren't married because they can't, we won't be married because you won't."
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **It feels really good to be back with a multi-chapter Puckleberry fic! I've missed these two swimming around my head! This story is the crack combination of the movie 'He's Just Not That Into You' and the new Taylor Swift album. Neither of which I own!

This story is going to include a little bit of everything (pairing wise) although not all of them will be romantic and the main pairing is most definitely Puckleberry.

Alright enough from me! R&R please :)

* * *

Quinn had chosen the most beautiful October day for her wedding. The weather was perfect, not a single cloud in the sky. It wasn't cold, in fact in it was unseasonably warm and there was a soft breeze blowing through as all the bridesmaids and the bride gathered inside a room inside the tiny church on Bellevue Road. When she had realized that the weather would be warmer, Quinn immediately called the church to see if they could move the wedding outside. Quinn had always wanted to get married in a church, but she had been contemplating an outdoor wedding until they had decided on an early October date. Now the courtyard outside the church became a perfect mash up of the two.

Rachel was crouched down fussing over Quinn's train while Brittany, Santana, Tina and Mercedes all sat across the room perfecting their make up and hair.

"Rachel," Quinn said turning her upper body to look at Rachel, "its fine."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said standing then moving in front of the bride, "but I'm your maid of honor and I take my job seriously. Even if that means fussing over your train a hundred times."

Quinn reached out and placed her hands on the arms of her best friend. They'd been through so much and some how they found a way to be close. It wasn't easy because despite Rachel's constant kindness of the blonde, Quinn wasn't always the nicest person in return. They were always in competition but sometime junior year they came together in one of those moments where the glee club needed each other and it kind of became pointless to fight her on everything. What was the phrase; _if you can't beat them join them_? It applied in this situation but a beautiful friendship had grown out of it.

"Just like every other job you've ever had you are taking it way to seriously Rach."

"I just want to make sure you and Sam have the most memorable day," Rachel said smiling at her friend.

"And we will," Quinn said smiling, "So when are you and Puck doing this?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Never if I you ask him."

"What?" Tina injected from behind Quinn's large veil.

"Noah doesn't want to get married," Rachel responded.

"Why not? You guys have been together since college," Mercedes said.

"Because he doesn't- Look it's not important today. Today is about our good friend Quinn who is about to marry the boy who she has been in love with since high school."

There were cat calls from behind Quinn but Quinn was giving Rachel the 'we'll talk later' stare and Rachel just smiled and then hugged her best friend. When they pulled away both girls had tears in their eyes. Rachel knew that part of the reason for her tears was the fact that she may never be in Quinn's shoes, the other part was out of genuine happiness for her friend.

"If Kurt has to come in here again and do your make up he's not going to be happy," Mercedes shouted at the two as they helped each other fix each others faces with smiles.

When Kurt did come in a few minutes later he checked over each girl to make sure that they were perfect, especially the bride, and warned them that it was just a few minutes until show time. These girls had done several performances together, won sectional and regional and national titles together, but this was going to be their finest performance, the one that meant more than all the trophies they had won McKinley High School together.

Unfortunately, even though after Quinn had her baby she moved back home with her mother, her father couldn't find it in his heart (or lack there of) to forgive Quinn for her discrepancies as a teenager. They hardly spoke aside from birthdays and Christmas so when Quinn chose not to invite her father to her wedding Rachel had stood by her friend. She knew how difficult a decision it had been for Quinn but when Rachel asked her who she wanted to walk her down the aisle, Rachel wasn't entirely shocked by Quinn's answer. She also wasn't shocked when there was a knock at the door and Will Shuester poked his head inside.

"Everyone decent?" he asked and with six voices saying yes he opened the door all the way and entered, "Kurt said and I quote 'all ladies but Ms. Q to the courtyard pronto.'"

Everyone laughed knowing that Kurt probably was a lot more insistent that that. But walked past their former teacher.

The five bridesmaids joined with the five groomsman and the groom who looked dashing in their tuxes and Rachel felt a hand join in hers and looked up to see the smiling face of her boyfriend of five years, the best man. He looked absolutely stunning in a suit and she smiled back at him. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Have you been crying?" he whispered in her ear before pulling away.

She shook her head, "Well yes. But girls cry at weddings, Noah. Especially when it's their best friend who's getting married."

She wasn't lying, not really. They'd had the conversation several times about marriage. He just didn't want to get married. He'd seen too many marriages go absolutely south, his mother's, Quinn's parents, and he voiced in each of their conversations that he just didn't feel like they needed to ruin what they had. He also voiced each time that just because he didn't want to be married to her didn't mean that he loved her any less, fact he was stunningly confident that it meant that he loved her more. Rachel was still trying to figure out how that translated to the logistics of the situation.

Everyone lined up and the procession music started and Artie and Brittany brought up the front of the line of bridesmaids. Quinn had flipped through countless magazines and done hundreds of internet searches (all with Rachel) and she couldn't find a single style of bridesmaids dresses that she liked. Everything was too ugly or two poofy. So Quinn had called all the bridesmaids over while everyone was in town for the Holidays the year before and they were going to help her. Rachel had been nostalgic that day so she brought over a photo album she had from their days as a glee club and Quinn was going through it making comments about how looking through these made her remember each moment like it was yesterday. She turned the page and practically screamed gathering everyone's attention in the process.

"This is it!" Quinn proclaimed throwing the book down on the coffee table so all of them could see.

It was a picture that had been taken during their sophomore year after they'd done the boys vs. girls mash up project. All the girls were dressed in yellow dresses posed together.

"Mercedes," Quinn said looking at the fashionista who owned her own boutique in Chicago, "do you think you can duplicate these dresses? Just I don't know in a pale pink."

"It'll be my first project when I get back to Chicago," Mercedes said pulling a notebook out of her purse and scribbling something down. "Make sure you email me the picture. I want to print it and frame it."

So now, here they were dressed in Mercedes Jones originals walking down the aisle towards Sam Evans who had stolen their friends heart with a little Avatar speak junior year. Rachel smiled as she walked down the aisle, her arm linked with Puck's. She looked around and observed the people who had gathered for this occasion. There was Carole and Burt, the first wedding Rachel had ever been a part of, Quinn's mom was sitting in the front with a date. Emma was sitting with her and Will's son Eric looking stunning as usual. There were a few girls Rachel recognized who had been Cheerios and others she didn't so she assumed they either worked with Quinn at the school or with Sam. When she reached the alter she parted from Puck who took his place next to Sam.

As the bridal march started Rachel watched as everyone stood up and turned to the back of the courtyard where Quinn and Will stood. Quinn looked stunning and Rachel smiled as Quinn walked down the aisle. She took a moment to look over at Sam (because she'd seen 27 Dresses way too many times with Quinn since she'd gotten engaged) and saw that Sam had a smile brighter than any of Rachel's thousand watt performance smiles. She looked at Puck for a moment and saw that his gaze was on the bride but a moment later he turned his head towards her and winked. She smiled towards him before turning her attention back to her best friend.

Rachel couldn't help the tears that were in her eyes as Quinn and Sam said I Do. Her heart was exploding with happiness for the two and breaking for herself. She hated that today, while she should have been absolutely unbelievably happy for Quinn, she's thinking of herself and what she seems to never be able to have.

* * *

Later at the reception Rachel was standing at the edge of the dance floor waiting for Puck to return with her drink while watching Sam and Quinn twirl around the dance floor. They were so unbelievably happy and Rachel thought that it was ironic that once again, Rachel wanted what Quinn had. Except it wasn't a boy, it was a life. She'd always been too afraid to ask but had always wondered where Puck stood with having children. They'd had a scare or two and he seemed to be receptive but after even after so many years she'd never outright asked him if he wanted to have children with her. After everything that happened in high school Rachel didn't know if Puck was ever going to want to plan for children. It was always something that she hoped for for the future and she was to afraid his answer would break her heart. That she would approach the subject only to have him turn her down. It wasn't that he was being vicious, he honestly thought that by not getting married they were preserving their relationship and she loved him for at least caring. But really she wanted everything that came with a marriage; she didn't want to be calling him her boyfriend when she was sixty.

Puck approached her with her drink and wrapped his arm around her waist joining her in watching the couple on the dance floor.

"They're so in love," Rachel said never taking her eyes off the newlyweds.

"So are we," Puck responded.

"I know," Rachel said trying to keep all the daunting feelings she was harboring from coming to the forefront of her mind. If she could just get through this day she knew that she could go back to living her life the way she had for the last five years, "but don't you ever think…"

"Rachel, don't start. Not here." Puck interrupted his voice calm but firm making it clear that he didn't want to have that conversation because it was going to lead to a fight. It always did.

So instead Puck suggested that the two dance instead of standing in the awkward tension they'd created for themselves. And when time came, Puck doesn't catch the garter and Rachel doesn't catch the bouquet, instead Finn and Tina do. Quinn and Sam took off on a week and a half honeymoon in Europe and Rachel and Puck went back to New York, Tina, Mike and Mercedes back to Chicago. Kurt, Santana and Brittany back to L.A.

* * *

Quinn wasn't going to be home for a few days but Rachel was sitting at home reading through an email that Quinn had sent her even though she specifically requested that Quinn and Sam take this time for themselves and not worry about things on this side of the Atlantic. There are about fifty pictures that Rachel would go through eventually but she can't get past the fact that Quinn signed the email Quinn Evans. She closed the laptop when Puck came walking through the door looking absolutely exhausted after work.

"What's wrong?" he said as he kissed her cheek on his way to the kitchen.

"Nothing," Rachel said staring at the closed laptop on her desk.

"Come on Rach, I can read you a little better than that by now."

"It's nothing Noah. Just a long day."

Rachel was happy when he let it go after that, at least for the time being. They're quiet during dinner, Rachel didn't have much to say and Puck only touched on the things that went wrong at work that day so most of the sound during that time came from their silverware making contact with their plates. There's something off and they both know it. But Rachel fully intended on letting it go, finishing the dishes and heading to bed to get the chance for a fresh start tomorrow. But Puck must have felt the need to push because he asked her what was wrong again while they're doing the dishes.

"Nothing," Rachel responded.

"C'mon Rach. Just tell me what's wrong and we can go watch whatever crappy television in on tonight."

"I just want to go to bed."

"We can do that too," Puck said taking a step closer to her, "but you've gotta tell me what's wrong first."

He was flirting and Rachel was furious at him for it. And for that reason alone, she lets out everything out in one quick burst, "I want to be Rachel Puckerman."

Puck rolled his eyes and backed away from Rachel. Not too far so she doesn't think he's running but far enough that Rachel knows that he'll probably make himself sleep on the couch tonight.

"Rach," Puck said simply.

"Why won't you marry me?"

"Rachel, we've gone over this a hundred times," Puck said the volume of his voice rising with his frustration.

"And a hundred times I don't see the problem. " Rachel countered, her volume rising as well, "I like to consider myself a rather intelligent individual Noah so I'd like to think that I would know when there _isn't _a problem."

"You know this whole thing is Fabray's fault."

"You can't blame her for this Noah. It's what _I _want."

"Ever since Quinn got engaged you can't shut up about weddings and marriage."

"I'm not going to apologize for wanting to marry you Noah! I'm not going to apologize for wanting what every little girl wants since they can play house."

"That's just it. Every little girl wants it until she grows up and gets it and realizes it's just a bunch of bullshit and lies."

"Not everybody ends up like your parents Noah! Look at Burt and Carole and Will and Emma!"

"Why risk it? Why take the chance?"

"Because when two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together they get married in front of their family and friends."

"So that's what this is?"

"What?"

"You just want a Rachel Berry spectacle. A whole day when the focus is all on you and no one else. That's all this is."

"Excuse me?" Rachel questioned her voice loud.

"You don't want the marriage, you want the wedding." Puck said point his index finger in Rachel's direction.

"How can you say something like that?" She asked. She knew he could play dirty if he wanted to but insinuating _that _was absolutely ridiculous.

"Because it's the truth."

"I think you just need to calm down before you say something else you're going to regret." Rachel said with her hand on her hip.

"I think you need to look at the reality of the situation Rachel."

"That you're afraid."

"Now who's saying things they're going to regret?" He's mad and she knows it, and she's absolutely terrified where this is going.

"But I can't decide what you're afraid of more. Marriage causing you to lose me or marriage causing you to lose your freedom."

"That's absurd Rachel even for your crazed thinking."

"Brittany and Santana call me the girl who tamed Noah Puckerman. So what if you're not as tamed as we would all like to think."

"Fuck Rachel! I've never cheated on you."

"But it's a lot easier to break up with your girlfriend than your wife if you decide you want to."

"I don't! And I think it's ridiculous for you to even insinuate Rachel."

"As ridiculous as you thinking marrying you would just be a Rachel Berry spectacle."

"I don't see us ever seeing eye to eye on this Rachel."

"Then maybe-" Rachel said before stopping herself.

"Maybe what?" Puck asked even though he was absolutely horrified of her response.

Rachel took a deep breath. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought this thought a handful of times but she always quickly pushed it aside knowing it was ridiculous and never ever did she think she would ever verbalize it, "Then maybe we need to find people who will see eye to eye with us."

"Now Rachel you're being ridiculous." Puck said his voice low.

"I don't want to grow old calling you my boyfriend," Rachel said verbalizing her thoughts from Quinn's wedding, "I don't want our children to grow up and have to ask why mommy and daddy aren't married. My dads aren't married because they can't, we won't be married because you won't."

"Jesus Christ Rachel! You obviously haven't been listening to a single thing I've said about this over the years. But of course I am the bad guy because heaven forbid you actually admit that you're being entirely selfish with this."

"Selfish? Really Noah? How?"

"This whole wedding/marriage thing is all about you. It's about what you want and you seem to have absolutely no regard for what I want. How the whole thing makes me feel."

"That points us back to my point earlier. We want different things Noah."

"So that's it. We're just supposed to give up?"

"This is what I want Noah. And if you can't give it to me," Rachel voice trailed away after that and the two just stood in the middle of their living room looking at each other, hoping that there was a solution, a compromise, but as the silence became deafening it was clear that there wasn't anything more to be done.

"I'll uh go stay at a hotel or something until I find a place, I guess," Puck said breaking the silence.

"No," Rachel said shaking her head, "I'm going to go to Lima. I've got some vacation coming up and I need to get away. I'll look into red eye flights to Cleveland tonight."

"When did you decide on this? Have you been planning this all along?" He's not yelling but you can still hear the rage in his voice.

"Absolutely not!" Rachel exclaimed, "I guess I decided right now. I feel like that's where I need to be right now."

"Where will you stay?"

"My dads. I'll have to call and let them know I'm coming."

"Ok," Puck said because he was pretty sure there wasn't anything to say.

* * *

Rachel managed to get three suitcases packed in an hour and was able to make the arrangements with the travel agency and with her fathers to head back to Lima. Though she had yet to shed a single tear, the pain in her chest was almost incapacitating but she pushed herself to put each important thing into her luggage along with most of her clothes.

The taxi called to let her know it had arrived as she was standing in front of the door looking around making sure she had everything she needed. She told Puck that she would come for the rest of her clothes when she got back from Lima in a couple weeks. He just nodded and Rachel headed towards the door. It was open and she was about to cross the threshold when he called out to her.

"Wait," he said and Rachel's whole body ached for him to be calling her back to tell her he'd changed his mind, "Just send me a text or something and let me know you got there."

Rachel's heart sank back to her stomach and she nodded grabbing on to her luggage and crossing the threshold out of the apartment and out of the building. She was really doing this.

* * *

Although she told her dads that she would get a taxi back to Lima, when Rachel got off the plane, Sheldon and Benjamin Berry were waiting. She hugged them hello and the trio headed towards the car. The ride home was quiet and Rachel was thankful that her dads weren't pushing. She hadn't told them much except that she was going to be coming home for a couple weeks, alone. It's not until she's unpacking her things in her childhood bedroom and Sheldon came in with a glass of water that Rachel finally broke down. Teary eyed she held on tight to her Daddy and told him everything. She lets her daddy wrap her in his arms and she cried into his shoulder. She felt so tiny and so vulnerable, so childlike. And then as the tears begin to subside and her father was just rocking her softly she realized that everything she wanted, everything she saw in her future, was suddenly gone.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Um...holy shit! (I can say that with a T rating right?) I don't even know how to describe my reaction to the response from the first chapter. It would pretty much look something like me forgetting how to breathe with my eyes coming out of my head (too descriptive? LOL). Anyway, long story short, I'm shocked. So I want to thank everyone who read this and every single one of you who reviewed and alerted and favorited this! You make me insanely happy but totally scared that I'm not going to live up to the first chapter. I guess it's a reason to try harder right?

Okay, okay, enough from me. R&R please? and if you want to follow me on twitter thatgleekychick. I usually tweet while I'm writing so that could be fun!

Enjoy!

* * *

Four days later Rachel was sitting on the couch in her parent's living room in a pair of yoga pants and one of her fathers' sweatshirts watching some crazy soap opera where the couples were all going through some sort of emotional relationship crisis. She sighed and then changed the channel to find something a little more mind numbing and something that doesn't pull at all the parts of her heart that were already hurting. She hasn't spoken to anyone except her fathers since she'd gotten back to Lima. Really there was no one to talk to. Finn and Artie were still in town but there was no way that she was going to call either of them up. And although she knew that Quinn and Sam were home from their honeymoon, she didn't call them. They were newlyweds returning back from their honeymoon and the last thing she wanted to do was burst their happy little bubble with her personal woes. Plus Rachel knew that Quinn would rush over here right away when she found out that Rachel was home. She would have questions and Rachel wasn't sure if she could give the right answers.

But once she had finally found some cooking show (which she had no interest in since most of her cooking included putting noodles into boiling water or preparing a salad) there was a loud knock at the door that caused her to nearly jump out of her skin. There was not a single person that she knew in this town that would be home at this hour and would come to her door basically knocking it down in the process. Rachel got up hesitantly and moved towards the door peaking through the curtain first to see that her obnoxious knocker was in fact Quinn, dressed in jeans and a white blouse, her hair pulled up as it was when she was a Cheerio. Rachel rolled her eyes but opened the door because despite the questions that were coming, Rachel really just needed her best friend.

"Quinn," Rachel said, "What are you doing here?"

Quinn walked in the Berry house past Rachel until she stood in the middle of the living room, the cooking show still playing in the background, "What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here and not in New York?"

"I took some vacation time and came home," Rachel said still standing by the open front door.

"Where's Puck? " Quinn asked and Rachel winced at her ex-boyfriend's name, "What the hell happened Rachel? Everything was fine when Sam and I left."

Quinn approached Rachel and wrapped her arms around the petite brunette. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn, relishing in the fact that she seemed to finally get what she needed. Rachel shrugged in response to Quinn's question and the blonde grabbed her by the hand and led her through the living room into the kitchen where she sat Rachel down in one of the wooden chairs and immediately went scrounging around the cabinets. She pulled out the tea pot and the box of tea that she knew was Rachel's favorite then filled the pot with water and put it on the stove, turning the flame on high. She then turned back to Rachel who was still sitting as she watched Quinn move around her kitchen like she lived in the house.

"Who told you I was here?" Rachel asked as Quinn leaned against the countertop.

"I may or may or not have gotten a phone call from your Dad. And Sam got a phone call from Puck who was wondering if we'd heard from you because you were supposed to text him or something and you didn't. Rachel what is going on?" Quinn said moving to take the chair next to Rachel turning her body so that she was face to face with her.

Rachel took a deep breath to control her emotions. She didn't want to cry, not right now at least, she'd done it enough over the last few days, "I want to marry him. He doesn't want to marry me."

"Oh Rachel," Quinn said reaching out and grabbing Rachel's hand, "Puck loves you."

"Sometimes that's not enough," Rachel said just above a whisper.

"No, it's not." Quinn said simply as she watched her friend stop fighting herself and let the tears fall from her eyes.

When the teapot whistled Quinn shot up and grabbed two mugs and put a teabag in each cup and filled them with water before carrying them back to the table.

"I know just what you need," Quinn said.

Rachel looked at her best friend teary eyed and confused. She was almost certain that there was no cure for heartbreak, "What would that be?"

"Glee club," Quinn answered effortlessly.

"The only glee club members in town are you, Sam, myself, Finn and Artie."

"No-no. Not our glee club, just New Directions is rehearsing in half an hour. They have sectionals coming up and I'm pretty sure Will would love it if you visited. You should grace the newest batch of angsty teenagers looking to fit in with the presence of an original. I'm sure Will will even let you critique the female lead when rehearsal is over."

Rachel smiled as she nursed the mug in her hand. After majoring in communications (because really a degree in theatre only gets you so far in life) Rachel was currently working for a PR agency that worked with many of the theatres on Broadway. She got to go to all the shows that she worked with while trying to make time for auditions and open mic nights here and there. Rachel Berry still wanted Broadway, she still wanted to be a star, but she absolutely loved doing what she was doing. While she had sometimes made mentions to Puck about this lead or that, it had been years since she actually criticized anyone's performance other than her own.

"I suppose that could be fun," Rachel said.

"Good. And then come over to have dinner with Sam and me."

"Quinn you just got back from your honeymoon. You don't need me moping around."

"Yes we do. Please?" Quinn smiled as she pleaded with her friend.

"Fine fine! But I'm not staying late. Don't you have to go back to work soon? Don't those tiny kids need something better than substitute teacher," Rachel said thinking of the third graders that Quinn had left behind.

"I go back on Monday," Quinn said as she stood up from the table and walked over to the sink to rinse her mug before placing it in the sink, "Now go see our beloved Mr. Shue and then hang out with Sam and I, I expect you at our place no later than seven."

"Okay," Rachel said standing up.

Quinn moved back towards Rachel and hugged her once again and whispered "It's all going to be okay," before parting and walking towards the door and letting herself out of the house.

* * *

Rachel parked her car in the parking lot of William McKinley High School for the first time in nearly six years and a million memories came to her at once. Countless glee rehearsals, football games, the slushies, break ups and makes ups, good times, and the bad. Still she turned off the engine and got out of the car and admired the building for just a moment before walking through the front doors for the first time not as a student. McKinley had obviously not gotten any better with their school security since once she was inside Rachel had full access to the school. She knew the route by heart: through the main hallway, a left through the science department and then a right. She stood in the hallway, peaking into the choir room she'd spent so much time in and saw that there were over twenty kids in there, and there was five minutes before rehearsal started so there was bound to be more students coming. When Rachel heard someone call her name from behind her she spun around to see the face of her old choir director. It had only been a few weeks since she'd last seen him but he looked different, more tired and worn.

"Will," Rachel said accepting the hug from the older man when he approached her.

"What are you doing in Lima? And what are you doing here?" Will said pulling away but leaving his hands on the small girl's shoulders.

"Uh, vacation," Rachel partially lied, "and I thought I'd stop by and see what New Directions looks like these days."

"Awesome! We've got sectionals in a couple of weeks so we're working on finalizing our set list. I'd really love your input if you've got the time."

"I would love to," Rachel said following Will as he moved into the choir room.

"Everyone," Will said as he put his bag down on top of the piano, "This is Rachel Berry. Rachel was part of the very first generation of New Directions back in 2009. She's going to sit in on rehearsal and help us put together our set list for sectionals. In our first year at sectionals Rachel did an amazing version of 'Don't Rain on My Parade' that took the house down."

"Mr. Shue," a blonde girl in the front row said, "Are you going to spend this entire time going over how awesome Rachel is or are we actually going to put together the set list. Because Mr. Shue we have two weeks until sectionals and we need to win."

Rachel smiled from the seat she'd taken on the piano bench next to Brad. The girl sitting front and center, more worried about winning than pretty much anything else, it was her. And now New Directions 2015 had its very own Rachel Berry.

"Alright Joey, that's enough. Now let's get to work. We have enough time to run through five numbers a few times and we will discuss them all of them next time. Rachel and I are going to take notes so I want all of you to act like this is a competition; that this is sectionals and you're performing for the judges."

They ran through five songs and Rachel was surprised that she had plenty of notes, and a good majority of them were positive. She didn't hold back anything but it seemed that either this group was actually _really _good or Rachel Berry had gone soft. As they walked out of the choir room leaving her with Will, she told them all how wonderful they were and then turned back to their director.

"They're really good," Rachel said smiling.

"I don't think they realize what it means for Rachel Berry to be calling them 'really good'," Will said laughing.

"I admit I was rather critical of everyone back in high school."

"I remember a time that you gave me a list of the students who weren't performing on par with Rachel Berry standards."

Rachel laughed for the first time in days, "But these kids, they really are good Will. You've done an amazing job."

"I just guide the way," Will said, "It's the talent of the kids that really lets the group reach their potential."

Rachel gave Will a smile but doesn't say what she's thinking. She doesn't tell Will that he was so much more than a guide, not to her, not to the other eleven members of New Direction that she grew up and learned with.

Rachel stood from her seat and handed Will the papers in her hand, "I have to get going but thank you for letting me help out today."

"You're welcome," Will said standing and hugging the brunette, "Is everything alright? You look…defeated."

"I could say the same thing about you. But yes everything is fine."

"I always get a little stressed and sleep deprived around competition time. Nothing to worry about. How's Puck is he in Lima too?"

"No," Rachel said, "Noah and I, we've separated."

"Oh Rachel, I'm sorry to hear that. I really thought you two were going to get married."

Rachel tried not to cry at the irony of Will's words, "Me too. But I really do have to get going."

"Sure, sure. Take care of yourself Rachel. And don't be a stranger."

"Of course," Rachel said, "I'll stop by again before I leave."

"How long are you staying?"

"Another week or so," Rachel said knowing full well that she would actually have to go back to New York; she had to face everything still.

"It was good to see you Rachel," Will said grabbing his bag, "I'll walk you to the car?"

Rachel nodded and the two left the choir room.

* * *

It was just before seven when Rachel pulled in front of Quinn and Sam's house. It was a tiny ranch, but it fits the two perfectly with its tiny front yard. It would be entirely cliché if it wasn't for the fact that there was currently no picket fence around the property. Rachel got out of her car and walked up the driveway to the front door and walked in. During the numerous phone calls Rachel had received from Quinn over she was given specific instructions to just walk through the door and meet her in the kitchen. Walking in the house smelled amazing; it was obvious that Quinn had been baking. That mixed with the smell of whatever she had concocted for dinner turned the house into a warm inviting space.

"Rachel," Sam called as he emerged from the kitchen walking towards her and greeting her with a hug, "It's good to see you."

"Hey Sam," Rachel said wrapping her arms around her best friends new husband, "It's good to see you too."

"You both better get in here before I come get you," Quinn shouted from the kitchen and both laughed and made their way towards the kitchen fearing the wrath of Quinn.

Ten minutes later the three of them are sitting around Quinn and Sam's small round kitchen table. It wasn't awkward since she was among friends but Rachel felt completely out of place, the third wheel. They talked a lot about Quinn and Sam's honeymoon, the different sites they saw in the different countries they went to. Rachel was completely fascinated by it all and thought it would be a good idea for her vacation over the summer. She rolled her eyes when Quinn turned the conversation back to her asking her about her trip to the high school.

"It was strange. But Will definitely has a great group of students, so many talented performers. There are over twenty of them!"

"That what I've heard. I thought about maybe going to see them at sectionals. "

"I'll probably be back in New York by then. I would have loved to go though."

"Speaking of New York," Quinn said and Rachel shot her a piercing glance.

"That is not dinner talk Quinn."

"But you've barely told me anything! I didn't want to pry but now I do."

"It's only been four hours since you came by Quinn."

"That's plenty of time."

"I'll leave the room if you girls want to talk," Sam said beginning to stand up.

"No, Sam. Sit please. I'm not talking about this right now."

"Fine," Quinn pouted, "But before I go back to work you're to tell me everything."

"Alright," Rachel said, "I should get going. I'm sure my dads are home by now."

"Are you sure you can't stay? I baked a lot."

"I'm sure," Rachel said, "I've imposed enough."

"Nonsense," Sam said and Rachel was surprised and happy to hear it coming from her best friend's husband.

Rachel said goodbye to her friends with the promise that she would meet with Quinn the next day and tell her everything about what was being referred to as simply 'New York'. She climbed into her car, put the key in the ignition and turned the car on. Just before she was to shift into drive her phone rang and she looked down to see that it was the man that she'd seen just a couple of hours earlier. She quickly picked up the phone and greeted Will.

"Rachel?" Will said on the other end of the phone.

"Yes."

"I was wondering if you could come in tomorrow afternoon and talk to me and Principal Figgins. We have an offer for you."

"Really? Regarding what?"

"I'd rather discuss the details with you in person."

"Oh, alright. What time?"

"Does one work for you? If not we can do it after glee."

"No, no. One works."

"Great," Will said, "We'll see you then."

"Alright, Goodbye." Rachel said hanging up her phone and pulling away from the curb.

* * *

"You want me to what?" Rachel said from her seat next to Will while the two sat across from Principal Figgins in an office Rachel had been to on many occasions in high school. She had absolutely no idea what both of them had wanted with her when she pulled into the parking lot that afternoon but this was definitely not on the list of things she'd imagined the night before.

"Run glee club," Will said.

"But you run glee club," Rachel said turning to Will.

"It's only for a week, if you can do it before you go back to New York. I have to go out of town and we're so close to sectionals and I don't want to just stop rehearsing until I get back."

"But me? I'm not even a teacher."

"But no one else understands glee like you do. You'll know what is working and what isn't and what the judges are going to like."

"I don't know," Rachel said hesitantly.

"We'll pay you," Figgins interjected, "Granted it won't be as much as a teacher would get paid but you will be nicely compensated Ms. Berry."

"It's not that" Rachel said, "I-I just don't know if I can do it."

"It's three days a week for about an hour to an hour and a half, depending on what needs to be done. The set list will be finalized by this afternoon so all you'll have to do is use the auditorium to work through choreography kinks. Everything else is set. Rachel you're the most qualified to do this. I don't want to leave them this close to sectionals but if I was going to leave them with anyone it would be you," Will said.

Rachel took a deep breath. It would be a good distraction and was much better than sitting in her dads' living room all day or listening to Quinn try to cheer her up. And Quinn was going to go back to work on Monday and Rachel wouldn't have Quinn as an option. She thought back to her sophomore year of high school when Will had accidentally gotten himself disqualified from sectionals because of a mattress and they had to have Emma as their advisor. They felt kind of lost without their leader (and it didn't help that their set list had been leaked and all the other groups were doing the numbers they'd chosen). Granted the situation wasn't he same but she knew that a week without rehearsal would be detrimental for their chances at sectionals.

"Okay," Rachel said.

Rachel stuck around McKinley and met once again with the glee club and Will announced that Rachel was going to be taking over next week and assured all twenty five of them that they were in good hands. Rachel wasn't surprised when a few of them voiced their concern about Rachel's abilities. Will just smiled and popped in a DVD. It was regionals 2010. It was her and Finn singing Faithfully; it was the electricity of the Mash-up. Rachel's heart stopped for a moment. This was the first time that she'd seen a picture or anything of Puck in the week she'd been home. She swallowed hard and pushed back the tears because this was not the time to break down. Not when you were trying to convince a group of teenagers that they should trust you for the next week. When 'Don't Stop' ended Rachel had a big smile on her face. She was so proud of that day even though they didn't win.

"Didn't New Directions lose that year?" someone called from the group.

"Yes, but did you see those performances?" Joey responded, "I heard the judges were shady. I think we will be in very capable hands with Ms. Berry."

Rachel was stunned that Joey would be as accepting as she was of the older woman's position as temporary replacement. Rachel herself would never have been so approving.

When she got home that night her fathers were waiting for her with dinner. Since Rachel didn't want to talk about anything about herself she made sure that she kept the conversation strictly to her dads and their work days.

"I was thinking about taking the next week off," Sheldon said.

"For what?" Rachel asked.

"To spend some time with you. You're rarely home and you're going back to New York soon and I thought it would be better than you being alone all the time."

"No need to do that Dad."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, very much so. I actually am going to be working at McKinley for a couple days next week, working with the glee club there while Will is out of town."

Sheldon and Benjamin looked at each other and then back and Rachel.

"That's great honey," Sheldon said, "It'll be good for you."

"I think so too," Rachel said.

That night Rachel dreamed about the regionals performance she'd relived earlier, just this time every moment with Finn had been replaced with the face of Puck, especially the behind the scenes 'I love you'.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** Hello lovely readers! I don't have much to say other than thank you for the reviews!

Oh-one more thing. I think it was on here and not LJ but someone asked about more Fabrevans. I don't know how much this story will actually have but I have a few ideas for them to have their own story but I'll see what I can do about putting a little more in here.

R&R please! :)

* * *

Rachel wanted nothing more than to _not_ have the heart to heart conversation Quinn was insisting on Saturday afternoon. And she would be lying if she said that she didn't ignore the first two calls from Quinn. Rachel was fully intending on answering the next call but as she was sitting on top of her bed she heard the front door slam shut and she knew that Quinn wasn't going to call again, she was going to be in Rachel's bedroom in approximately five seconds.

"Rachel Barbra Berry," Quinn called from other side of Rachel's closed bedroom door before the door opened and the blonde entered, "Why haven't you answered my phone calls?"

"I was just about to return your phone call Quinn. I was cleaning the kitchen and I left my phone up here."

"You're lying Rachel because I know for a fact that your Daddy cleans the kitchen every night after dinner. You're avoiding me."

Rachel rolled her eyes; sometimes she hated how well Quinn knew her. It made lying very difficult, close to impossible. Quinn moved and sat down in front of Rachel who didn't look up at the blond but at her fidgeting hands in front of her.

"Rach," Quinn said as she reached out and grabbed the brunette's hands, "You've got to deal with this at some point."

"I know," Rachel whispered looking up.

"So what are you going to do when you get back to New York?" Quinn said ripping the band-aid off without any hesitation.

Rachel took a deep breath, "I honestly don't know. I need to find a place to stay and to get the rest of my stuff from our-the apartment."

"Have you talked to him at all?"

"No," Rachel said, "There really isn't anything to say."

"I doubt that. You told me why you left, but what happened?" Quinn asked.

Rachel was quiet for a while, the images and the words of that night, the ones she had tried to hard to keep from the forefront of her mind, playing out in her head. And then as the tears pooled in her eyes she told Quinn everything.

"Can't you just, you know, take it back?" Quinn asked.

"I don't think it's that easy," Rachel said wiping a betraying tear from her cheek, "I'm not sure if I want to."

"But you love him don't you?"

"Of course and I think part of me always will. I just don't know how to be with him forever and not be married to him. Would you stay with Sam if he told you he didn't want to marry you?"

"I don't know Rachel," Quinn said looking down at the ring on her left hand, "But is it really worth all the pain and the heartache you're going through just because he doesn't want to get married?"

"I couldn't keep getting angry at him for not wanting the same things I wanted. Maybe he was right?"

"About what?"

"Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe this all about me but I don't want to go on pretending like everything is okay and have everything blow up and I end up hating him because of it."

"He would never let that happen."

"I used to be so sure. Now I'm not."

"Why?"

The tears poured down Rachel's face as she thought of her answer. The answer that had haunted her so many times since that night. The answer that tore at her soul, "Because he let me go."

With the words finally out of her mouth Rachel broke down. She was sobbing and Quinn moved to envelop Rachel in her embrace. Rachel clutched Quinn's shirt like a lifeline as she let the emotions that she had been so afraid of feeling for the past week wash of her. Her heart hurt and all she really wanted to do was crawl into a hole.

When she finally calmed down she pulled herself away from Quinn just a bit. Teary eyed Rachel looked at Quinn whose eyes were filled with tears, her cheeks stained with trails of tears she had already shed.

"I know this is my fault. I left and I have to deal with that. But is it wrong that I wanted him to try a little harder? He didn't try then and I haven't even gotten a text from him. I was supposed to let him know I was okay and when I didn't he still didn't try to contact me."

"Rachel, sweetie," Quinn said fixing some of the stray hair on Rachel's head, "We've both been around long enough to know that most men don't do the right thing in these situations, especially Puck. He's probably sitting at home hurting just as much as you are. But he still thinks he's a badass so he's probably trying to pretend he's okay, when really he's got your Celine CD on."

"I took that with me," Rachel said and Quinn laughed which caused a small smile to come from Rachel.

"But really, I've been around the both of you for a long time and if you can't be with Puck because he won't marry you, I will support you. But really Rachel, don't ever doubt that he loves you, because he does, and he will."

Rachel took another deep breath and wiped the remainder of the tears from her eyes, "Thanks Quinn."

"You're welcome," the former Cheerio said giving Rachel a smile, "But still. What are you going to do?"

"Well on Monday I'm coaching glee club," Rachel announced trying to avoid discussing New York for as long as possible.

"You're doing what? Why? I mean it's not like you're not really qualified but what about Will?"

"I guess he has to go out of town and with sectionals approaching he didn't want to stop rehearsals. I'm basically going to be a babysitter."

"That's exciting! But really Rach, you've got to go back and you can't just be wandering around New York City." Quinn said pulling the conversation back exactly where Rachel didn't want it.

Rachel sighed in defeat, "I'll have to look online this weekend. It's probably going to be difficult to find something that I can move into next week."

"You can look, after we've had lunch," Quinn said standing up off the bed, "We can go cook and turn the music up and pretend we're seventeen again. Your dads won't be home for a while right?"

Rachel nodded.

"Perfect," Quinn said reaching over and grabbing a hold of Rachel's hands pulling her up off the bed.

* * *

Rachel thought things went rather smoothly on her first day a temporary glee club director. She stood in front of all the kids and acted very much like she did when she was in high school. She expressed the severity of not warming up vocally, with only few protests. She made them run through their first number three times because the harmonies sounded rather sharp. She also made a mental note that some of these performers needed help with choreography and she would have to talk to Will about setting aside time with these students. While it wouldn't hurt all of them to have extra rehearsal, Rachel doubted that Will had time to call the entire group together just for a few select students. They get through all three songs on their set list and Rachel is pleased. She was surprised when most of the kids leave rehearsal without a scowl on their face.

Once they're gone Rachel was alone in the middle of the stage that she'd performed on a million times, the bright lights hitting her face as she looked out into the empty auditorium. She took the stairs down into the seats and sat down in the center of the auditorium and looked up at the stage. She wondered if maybe this was the only real view of the stage she was going to get. Not this stage specifically but all stages. Broadway seemed to be taking a backseat to the rest of her life and she wasn't sure where she lost everything. She went to New York for Broadway, there was no other reason. She wanted her name in lights and on awards and she knew that all her role models and heroes had done the same. She had only been working at the agency for two years and really as much as she loved that she was able to see all the Broadway shows and she loved some of the work she was able to do, she was still just starting out so most of the time she was just an errand girl. And maybe that was the reason she was so eager to leave New York. Maybe there was just so many things going wrong, so many dreams unable to come true; All of them in New York. But she knew she had to go back because that's where her life was even if it seemed to be in ruins. She didn't have a job here in Lima; she didn't have much of anything except Quinn and her dads. She knew that she would have to go back and face Puck and the crushing feeling in her chest would just be worse. In Lima she could avoid him. It was easier to not spend every waking second thinking about him when he wasn't around. But it was never that easy. Her coffee, her breakfast, her daddy's glance to make sure she wasn't curled up in a ball on the couch instead of just simply reading her book, everything reminded her of him. She knew that over time it would go away but right now she just did her best to suffer in silence.

She knew that she should get up out of that seat in the middle of her high school auditorium and find her life again, but she can't make herself move. There are things to do like find an apartment and book her flight for Sunday and call the agency and make sure she wasn't fired for leaving so abruptly. But all she wanted was to stay exactly where she was and pretend she was sixteen again and the only thing she really cared about was beating Vocal Adrenaline and getting to Nationals.

"Rachel?" a voice called and Rachel turned around to see a figure who was probably the most important person from her past.

"Finn," Rachel said with a smile as her tall ex-boyfriend walked down the aisle towards her.

* * *

It was quiet in their apartment and Puck was pretty sure he'd never hated anything more. He sat on the couch staring at the television which was currently playing a football game but there wasn't any sound, it's on mute. Usually when he watched the game he watched it without sound because he could never hear it over whatever 'noise' Rachel was making. If she wasn't singing for an audition, she was playing music in the other room and while she had no idea it was too loud, Puck never said anything. The audio of a game was usually as important as the game itself but he didn't care because when it was over and he walked into the bedroom she was dancing around or sitting in bed with a pen cap between her teeth (her worst vice she'd said) looking over something for work and he'd smile and he'd realize that there was nothing as important as the tiny brunette in his bed.

He hadn't slept in the bedroom in over a week. He couldn't and he felt like the worst badass ever. Granted since high school and dating Rachel, Puck was very clear that being badass didn't mean you had to be tough as nails all the time, but he still held himself to a certain level and this was definitely falling below it. So his back hurts and he barely gets any sleep because they never actually replaced that lumpy cushion and he's grumpy all the time. Especially two days after Rachel left and his mother called him practically screaming because she'd run into Rachel and Rachel told her everything. He spent an hour explaining to his mother exactly what he'd been telling Rachel for years.

"_Your dad and I were only meant to do one thing, Noah. And it was creating you and your sister. It took me a long time to realize that and now I hate that you are closing yourself off just because of a few mistakes I've made," _she had told him.

He told her it was more than that and she sighed and told him she loved him and then said she'd call again in a few days. He just hung up because he knew that her nagging about this would be worse than her nagging for Jewish grandchildren. But it was obvious that she didn't understand just as much as Rachel hadn't. He'd watched his mother completely destroyed because his father couldn't get his shit together. He was a rock star and that's all he cared about and his kids and wife were abandoned because of it. And when he came back Puck's mother would just let him right back in and they would pretend to be a happy family for all of a minute before his father had somewhere more important to be. Puck played sports because he thought it would impress his father. And when that didn't work he picked up a guitar. But that didn't work either. His mother always said that his father was a better person before they got married, before he and Sarah were born. So marriage changed that bastard?

And then there was Quinn's family. He'd experienced a lot of it first hand when he and Quinn were together in high school. He saw Judy Fabray show up at regionals and tell her daughter that her father was a cheater. The same man that had kicked her out of her house for being a teenaged mother was a sinner himself but that didn't matter. That summer after Puck's daughter was born, while he and Quinn were trying to see what came next he watched as Quinn's mother basically destroyed herself with alcohol and who knows what other substances. He watched as the behavior of both her parents tore Quinn up inside (though she rarely showed it).

Granted both his and Quinn's father were assholes and he had vowed a long time ago not to be like either of them, he didn't see the point in risking his future with Rachel by marrying her. The phrase was 'if it isn't broken don't fix it' right? But Rachel left him anyway and he thought that maybe she was right that night. That breaking up with a girlfriend was easier than divorcing a wife. He wouldn't have to interact with her with their lawyers or split what little assets they had in half. She'd just take her stuff and go and they'd be done. So maybe this was for the best. Maybe everything was supposed to work out this way. Rachel was the unexpected surprise in his adult life. She was the chance run in during the holidays in Lima on Christmas Eve while everyone else was with family and friends he'd decided to just sit in a stupid movie because there really wasn't anything going on. He'd run into her and her dads and they hung out later that week and then a year later he driving his truck, the bed full of his shit, to New York and he's rarely been back since.

He sighed because as much as he knew that this was probably for the best, he missed her. He loved her. His phone rang and the loud music that invaded the quiet space knocked him from his thoughts. He picked up his phone from the table in front of him and groaned because his called ID showed that it was Quinn who was calling and he was pretty sure he knew where this conversation was going.

"Hello, Quinn," Puck said lifting the phone up to his ear.

* * *

Rachel didn't move but she watched as Finn moved towards her and then took the seat next to her without a question.

"I heard you were in town," he said simply.

"Quinn or my dads?"

"Will actually. I went to talk to him last week and he told me that you were running the club this week. Are you home for good?"

"Uh, no," Rachel said, "I go back on Sunday."

"That's good," Finn said and the two fell into a comfortable silence. They'd broken up the summer after senior year but after the awkwardness passed they became good friends, "Do you ever miss this place?"

"Sometimes. I'm not performing right now so it's nice to think about the glory days."

"We had a lot of good times here."

"We have. Too bad we can't be sixteen forever."

"You'd hate being sixteen forever," Finn said laughing.

"How do you figure?"

"Because you'd never have gotten out of here. You would have been stuck with me in this town."

"You make it sound like it's horrible."

"It's not, for me."

"It would be for me?"

"Rachel, you and I've been through a lot. But the one thing I was certain of was that you were going to go on and do something with yourself."

"But I'm not."

"Not yet. But you will. You just need to find that Rachel who drove everyone crazy in high school."

"I'm not sure how much of her is left."

"And what a good way to find out but the place where it all started," Finn said looking back up at the stage.

"When did you get so smart Finn Hudson?"

"I guess when they gave me a diploma from Ohio University. Those things give you automatic IQ points," Finn said with a smirk that reminded Rachel of the goofy boy she'd loved in high school, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Rachel said surprised by the sudden change in topic, "Why do you ask?"

"I talked to Puck."

"Oh."

"This will all work itself out Rach, you know that right?"

Rachel just shrugged.

"He's just being an idiot," Finn said and Rachel knew that he was wrong, "He's going to regret this one day," Rachel secretly wished he was right.

* * *

"No, Q," Puck said into his phone, "I haven't tried calling her."

"Maybe you should," Quinn said sternly into the phone.

"_She_ left _me_."

"If you could see me you'd see one of those exaggerated eye rolls you hate."

"I don't know what you think is going to happen."

"I really hate when you two are so madly in love with each other but you're both too damn stubborn to admit it."

"I love her Quinn. It's not admitting it that the issue."

"Then talk to her."

"We've talked about this subject several times until we were blue in the face."

"I don't know what you do with you two."

"Nothing Q," Puck said, "It'll be better for you that way. Look I've got to go. You need to let this go."

Puck heard a frustrated growl come from the other end of the phone before he hung up. He really wished that time would get moving so he wouldn't have to deal with the nagging ex-girlfriends best friend and a nagging mother. It was that or Rachel would show up at the door and everything could go back to normal.

* * *

Things are going to get interesting next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** I'M SORRY! I suck, I know. I had a horrible case of writer's block (which is still kind of plaguing me) and I lost all my notes for the story and I felt kind of lost! But I found them and hopefully I can go back to regularly updating again! Thanks again for everyone who had read, reviewed, alerted, favorited etc. The fact that the notifications were still coming was probably the biggest reason that I even tried to find my inspiration again!

R&R, even if it's to tell me how much I suck for being gone so long! There is some interesting stuff in this chapter so I hope you like it!

* * *

She'd done a lot of talking since she'd been home. So as much as Rachel loved her best friend, she was glad that Quinn became too busy with grading papers and creating lesson plans to check in on her every hour of everyday. She was sick of talking. The talking wasn't getting Rachel anywhere. She needed actions; a progression of events would be the only way for life to move on and she was just standing still. Contrasting to her own life, things were moving at McKinley because New Directions was moving. They were rehearsing and getting better. Sectionals were a week away and there was just so much to look forward to.

And on that Thursday, the final day of Rachel's time coaching she stood in front of all of them in the auditorium and thanked them for working with her. And they thanked her in return. She wished them luck as she dismissed them then followed them out in pursuit of Principal Figgin's office. She had only the intention of dropping off the auditorium key she'd been given then going right home to start repacking and prepping herself mentally for the trip back to New York. But when she turned the corner and saw Emma through the glass walls of Figgin's office sitting and crying across from Figgins, Eric playing on the floor, she quickened her steps and pushed through the doors to see what was wrong.

"You," Emma said once she was Rachel coming through the door as she jumped to her feet, her finger wagging in Rachel's direction as she spoke, "It has to be you because there is no one else. No one else is qualified and Sandy Ryerson is in prison."

"What's going on?" Rachel questioned completely puzzled by Emma's tears and insistence that Rachel was the only one. And Sandy Ryerson was in prison? It was only a matter of time.

"You need to stay," Emma barked, "If those kids can't go to competition it will kill him sooner."

Rachel was known for making similar statements, but there was no way she could decode Emma's distressed ramblings, "Sooner? What-who are you talking about?"

A sudden silence fell over the room and Emma and Figgins exchanged a glance that made Rachel fear the words about to be said more than the silence.

"He's sick," Emma spat out with anger.

"What?" Rachel said, "Sick how?"

Emma lowered herself back into her seat, "Cancer" she said but she wasn't looking at Rachel or Figgins, she was looking at Eric playing on the floor.

Rachel suddenly felt as if her heart had stopped beating, this was the last thing she had expected to hear from Emma.

"How long?" Rachel questioned, "How long have you known?"

"We found out about a month before Quinn's wedding."

"Why didn't he tell us? He should have told us."

"He wasn't going to ruin Quinn's day. It meant so much to him to get to walk her down the aisle he didn't want her to hate him by ruining the mood."

"Where is he?"

"Chicago. That's where he was this week. There's a doctor out there that Tina told him about. We're going to see if they can help make everything…less severe."

"Less severe?" Rachel shouted, "How bad is it?"

Rachel could tell that Emma was trying not to break down and Rachel's heart broke for her.

"The doctors here say probably no more than a year. But it'd break him if these kids couldn't go to competition. And if he's not in high spirits I don't know what will happen to him if that affects his response to treatment. You have to stay and coach Rachel. He's worked so hard for the last nine years for it all to come to an end because he can't do it anymore."

"I-I'd love to help but I'm going back to New York on Sunday. I have a job."

"Quit it! Take this Rachel," Emma said an almost angry tone in her voice that Rachel had rarely seen over the years, "for Will."

Rachel had only been speechless a few times in her life and standing in front of two authority figures from her teenage years, one she now considered a friend, Rachel could not find the words. She had no idea what the right words were. Were there right words at all? Rachel's mind was moving in several directions none of which could make sense of the news. She tried to simultaneously digest the news of Will's illness as well as accept that Emma was asking her to give up her job and life in New York. She wanted to help but she wasn't sure what doing this meant for everything else.

"I'll think about it," Rachel said looking over at Eric and not either of the adults, "It's the best I can do right now."

The worried look in Emma's eyes didn't disappear but Rachel saw something shift and she tried to believe that it was hope. She thought that Emma really believed that Rachel helping with glee would potentially save Will. Emma just nodded in response.

* * *

When Rachel got home she immediately told her Dads about everything that had happened at McKinley that afternoon.

"We'll support you, whatever you decide, you know that. But we think you should stay," Benjamin said.

"I have a job in New York Daddy," Rachel countered.

"That you hate," Benjamin countered

"I do not," Rachel said offended.

"You do too. You hate being an errand girl. You only stayed because you and Noah needed the money and because you keep hoping the right person would hear you sing and give you the break you've been waiting for since you moved out there after high school. You left Noah sweetie, so really there's nothing left for you."

"So what? You expect me to just give up."

"That's not what your Dad is saying Rachel," Sheldon interjected, "But maybe takes this time to help Will and reevaluate your goals."

"Dad my goals haven't changed since preschool."

"Then maybe your plan needs reevaluating. This isn't going to be permanent."

"And what if…if he…what if he dies? I'm just supposed to walk way then."

"You're thinking in extremes Rachel. But if the doctor in Chicago helps he's going to get to live a lot longer than the doctors here think the will."

"How do you know about Chicago?"

"We've known about Will for a while now. When things started looking bad for him, he asked me to draw a will."

"And you didn't think to tell me?"

"He made us promise not to. He' was going to tell you guys soon, Christmas maybe, when everyone was in town again."

"What am I going to do?" Rachel cried throwing herself into the chair. She thought that she was being selfish for a moment because this whole situation was really about Will, but as worried about him as she was, this was affecting her more than it would have if she'd simply just discovered that Will was sick. But she was being asked to change her life and she tried to hear the tiny voice in the back of her head that said he would have done the same for her.

"That's completely up to you."

Rachel sighed in frustration because she didn't know what she wanted to do but as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket she pulled it out to see what it was Quinn calling.

"Hello?" Rachel answered.

"You need to come over right now. My wedding pictures came and I need you to see these Rachel, they're gorgeous. How soon can you get here?" Quinn said quickly into the phone and Rachel could tell that she was really excited.

"Uh, give me fifteen minutes Quinn," Rachel said.

"Is everything alright?" Quinn asked and Rachel cursed herself for not using her acting skills.

"Uh yeah. I'll talk to you when I get there."

"Hurry," Quinn said, her voice muffled by what Rachel knew from several previous conversations as the presence of food in her mouth, "I have these delicious chocolate snack things but if Sam comes in here again there might not be any left."

Rachel nodded though Quinn couldn't see her, "All right."

Rachel hung up the phone and stood up from the chair to put it back into the pocket of her jeans. She bid goodbye to her fathers and both wished her luck on making her decision.

* * *

Quinn's wedding photos were, as expected, beautiful. Though thumbing through the binder on her lap, Rachel thought that the pictures didn't do any justice to Quinn's beauty that day. Rachel continued to flip through the binder as Quinn gushed about how beautiful or handsome everyone looked and how glad she was that she didn't choose hideous bridesmaid's dresses because they would have totally ruined the pictures, while Rachel tired not to drift away and imagine herself in that white dress (sans Sam of course).

As Quinn went on and on about how perfect everything was, Rachel flipped the page of the binder to a picture she'd forgotten had been taken. It was of her, Puck, and Will. She studied Will's features for a sign of something that she should have noticed and of course there were plenty. But she wouldn't have questioned them if she didn't know that it was anything to worry about. He looked so much thinner and his face was paler. She wondered how he felt that day. She thought for a moment that Will may have felt absolutely terrible and had just wanted to curl up in bed but had come out just for Quinn and her eyes quickly filled with tears before several came pouring from their threshold. Quinn who had been glowing with happiness turned to her concerned.

"What?" she asked as she moved over to look at the picture Rachel had started crying over. The moment she saw Puck in the picture she moved to embrace Rachel in her arms whispering over and over again that it was going to be okay and Rachel was almost certain she heard Quinn whisper 'fuck him' and Rachel pulled back for a moment and looked at Quinn with her teary eyes and shook her head.

"I'm not crying over Noah," Rachel informed her friend.

"Then what?"

Rachel wasn't sure if this was the way Quinn should hear the news but Emma had never said anything about not saying anything and Rachel really didn't want to come up with something to get out of this (and Quinn would have seen through everything anyway).

So she told her everything, about Will, about the job they were offering her, her parents involvement and it resulted in the two of them crying and Rachel sobbing "What am I going to do?"

Quinn wiped what remained of her tears from her cheek and looked Rachel square in the eyes, "I think you're dads are right. You weren't happy with your job in New York you don't have anything but the tiny apartment you got two days ago."

"So you agree with them? You think I should just give up on my dreams?"

"No one is saying that Rachel. This isn't permanent," Quinn said practically repeating the words Rachel's fathers had said earlier, "Plus, I wouldn't mind having my best friend a little closer than a phone call." "Cheap shot Fabray, cheap shot," Rachel responded smirking.

"Do you think Will will be alright?" Quinn said turning the mood back to its previously solemn nature.

Rachel shrugged then leaned back into the cushions of Quinn's couch, "I don't know. Supposedly the doctors in Chicago are supposed to help."

"And you helping with glee."

"That too."

"If you're asking me, and I'm sure that you are, you have to stay. And I'm sure they'll let you do a number or two like Shuester did."

"As much as I'm sure they will hate that; but I have to let Figgins know by tomorrow so I think I'm going to sleep on it."

"But you're staying?"

"I'm not saying anything until I know for sure," Rachel said though she was pretty sure that she already had already made a decision.

* * *

Sure enough the next morning, Rachel walked into McKinley before Principal Figgins had even arrived and after she startled the man she went into full Rachel mode explaining how she would run the glee club until after sectionals and once Will was better she would co-run it with him until no longer than the end of the school year. Figgins gratefully approved and Rachel stopped by Emma's office on the way to deliver the news and received a teary smile, thank you and hug.

That night after she had called and put in her leave of absence at work and had called to unfortunately lose her deposit on the tiny apartment she had been planning on living in once she returned to New York, she called up Quinn to let her know that she should get used to her hanging around for the next few months and Quinn squealed into the phone so loudly that Rachel had to pull the receiver away from her hear to prevent any damage from occurring.

"You need new clothes!"

"Why do I need new clothes? I don't need new clothes."

"Yes. You should show up on Monday in a skirt and an animal sweater."

"Are you insane? If I remember correctly you made fun of me terribly for those sweaters."

"Because you had the guts to wear them! You're going to officially be part of the glee club again; don't you want to look like you did in high school?"

"No. And while I'm almost certain that my closet at my dads' house still has most of my old clothes, including those sweaters, however I am not wearing them, ever again actually."

"Fine," Quinn said pouting with her disappointment, "So what did Puck say when you told him you weren't coming back to New York anytime soon?" "I haven't told him."

"You haven't? When are you going to tell him?"

"We're moving on. I don't need to check in."

"He's going to want to know about this Rachel."

"Then you can tell him the next time you talk to him. And while you're at it can you also ask him to so kindly pack up my things and have them shipped here and I will reimburse him for the charges."

"You're not going to talk to him yourself?"

"Not if I can avoid it. So please do me this favor Quinn."

"You're lucky you're my best friend."

* * *

Granted he was hung over because once he got to the bar with a couple of his co-workers on a Friday, he couldn't convince himself to leave until last call was well over. The sun was piercing his eyes through the gap in the curtains and he cursed as he pushed the blanket off of him and slowly pulled himself out of bed. Despite the fact that it was way too early and that he had a pounding headache, Puck made his way towards the bathroom for a much needed (and hopefully helpful shower). Just as he passed the bed his foot collided with something hard and he shouted into the empty room. Lazily he looked down to find a shoe, one that had been there for over a week that he had just conveniently stepped over time and time again, only this time in the midst of his hangover when he couldn't focus on anything but the throbbing in his brain, he'd forgotten it was there and his foot crashed right into it.

Once he could comprehend more than the pain in his foot, Puck postponed his trip to the bathroom and reached across the bed to grab his phone off the nightstand. Flipping through his contacts he sent a simple message.

_Get your shit._

Puck closed the phone and threw it onto the bed where it disappeared into the comforter and continued his on his original journey to the bathroom groaning the whole time with frustration. He was frustrated that his head was pounding, that his boss had insisted that he come in early through a text message received while he already half way past sober (not that it stopped him from continuing), he had a throbbing in his foot, and you know, Rachel left him and her shit was still littered all over the apartment, he wasn't getting much sleep, and well, Rachel left him. He'd come up with a plan. He was going to try to talk some sense into her when she came to get the rest of her stuff, but he was pretty sure she should have been back in New York by now and from the amount of shit that was hers lying around the apartment still, she hadn't come to get any of it. He had called Quinn the night before, but she didn't answer and there was absolutely no point in calling Rachel. She would at least read the text and hopefully come, and when he was home. But the text, as nasty as it was, had been his first attempt to contact Rachel since she'd left and he honestly doubted it would make her come running back home. That and he still hadn't changed his mind about the whole marriage thing.

* * *

Rachel couldn't remember Sectionals ever being as nerve wrecking as it was this year, when she had to chaperone more than twenty teenagers to the competition. She'd managed to convinced Sam and Quinn to come with her and she had been in constant contact with Will and after he had thanked her for the billionth time for doing this, Rachel promised him she would call him right before New Directions went on so that he could hear it. She was lucky (and relieved) to find out that Will had already booked everything so the tedious things were taken care of. Now all she had to do was drive the hour to the competition, make sure nothing completely dramatic happened (this was New Directions after all) watch them perform and hope that they at least placed (more for Will and less so they couldn't blame her for being bad luck for the team).

So Rachel was relieved when not only did New Directions place, they won their sectional. The whole ride back to McKinley the team celebrated while Rachel, Quinn and Sam recounted the least dramatic sectionals for New Directions, which just happened to be the first competition for Sam, where the only drama was the fact that Finn had slept with Santana and Rachel Berry had no solos. Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out her phone which she had been ignoring most of the day. The only time she paid it much attention was when she called Will during the group's performance and she hadn't bothered to check any of her messages in the mean time. She had only two text messages, one from Will thanking he that she quickly replied to requesting he no longer thank her because truth was that she loved it. She went back and looked at the other text she had and saw that it was from Puck and froze before opening it. She read over the three simple words and her heart broke and she felt a wave of sadness wash over her. They hadn't talked since she had left and he chose those crass words as his first attempt to speak with her. She pushed back the urge to cry, she'd have plenty of time for that once she wasn't playing teacher. Instead she looked at the text once more before reaching into the seat next to her and dropping her phone in Quinn's lap.

"Noah text me," Rachel said before she sank back into the corner of her seat.

Quinn looked extremely happy and hopeful until she read the text message before passing the phone off to Sam so he could read.

"That jerk," Quinn said taking the phone back from Sam and handing it to Rachel, "You should let me respond to him."

"No. We're just going to leave it. But please make that phone call for me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Rachel said because now that he was being cruel to her, what else could she do.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **Thanks for all the amazing readers who have stuck with me and my lack of constant updates! There is a little surprise in this chapter (one you've all been hoping for) so I hope it makes up for it!

Also, I just want to point out that I'm keeping most of the talk about Will's condition brief because I don't know much about medicine. I watch General Hospital and Grey's Anatomy and that is the extent of my knowledge. So if something is incorrect or just out there, just go with it please.

Sorry about the confusion yesterday! A reviewer brought to my attention that the chapter wasn't edited anywhere near up to par! So I looked over it again, so hopefully its better now!

R&R please! :D

* * *

Rachel met with Principal Figgins before McKinley was dismissed for the winter holidays. She was informed that when they resumed classes in just over two weeks, Will would be back and she would then be co-directing the club. Of course, she wanted Will to join her but she couldn't deny that the last couple of weeks with the club, between sectionals and the holidays, had been fun. She chose one of the local children's charities, and just as they had done during Rachel's junior year, New Directions went caroling from classroom to classroom collecting toys and money. However, this time there was no need to duck from shoes that had managed to become airborne. But she knew that once school resumed, it was time to focus on regionals and she wanted, no, _needed_ Will there for that. She knew she could do it on her own: come up with dance routines, song choices and the such. But she knew that she was never meant to lead New Directions. It was always supposed to be Will's achievement, his brainchild; and there was no way that he couldn't be part of this.

Her parents exchanged a few gifts with her during Hanukkah but not long after that they disappeared one of their annual vacations. It wasn't that they love being away from their daughter, but this was the one of the few chances that they had to escape during the year and Rachel insisted that they not pass it up. But despite the fact that she didn't celebrate the holiday, Rachel turned up at Sam and Quinn's Christmas morning because really Christmas, to her at least, wasn't about the religion of it all, but being around family and friends. She wasn't surprised that all the other original members of New Directions (with the exception of Puck and Mercedes) arrived through out the day and into the evening. It had only been a few months since everyone had seen each other, but there was much catching up to do. Including the plethora of gossip that Kurt had brought back with him from Los Angeles. Mercedes sent her love but she had a deadline for a new line she was creating and insisted that she work through Christmas in order to guarantee she would be in Lima for the New Years Eve celebration that Brittany was holding before her parents sold their house (and of course, why they were out of town).

Everyone exchanged gifts and Rachel fell in love with the handbag that Mercedes had sent with Kurt (black with a big gold star clasp. Some things never changed) and the pink scarf that Tina made herself. But the biggest surprise came later in the evening when the doorbell rang. Quinn had told Rachel the day before that Puck wasn't coming home for the holidays and that his mom and sister were going to New York for a couple of days instead. Rachel wondered for a moment if Puck remembered to clean underneath the rug because his mom always checked to make sure the apartment was in the best condition (or she would start to clean it herself) but pushed it away because it didn't matter anymore and the front door was opening and Will, Emma and Eric crossed the threshold into the house.

It was the first time she'd actually seen Will since before she'd taken over glee club. He looked well, he was still thin and his eyes held a bit of tiredness but otherwise he had a smile that extended from ear to ear and Emma didn't look so bad herself. So Rachel told herself over and over that he was all right. When it was her turn, she hugged him tightly as he whispered a millionth 'thank you' in her ear that caused her to hold onto him just a little tighter and offer the millionth 'you're welcome'. They hung out and played games (they were Sam's idea and the only other person who was actually excited for them was Rachel) and drank alcohol and just enjoyed the togetherness before most of them disappeared into their real lives again. Rachel managed to forget about the giant cloud hanging over the head of not only Will, but also everyone in the room. It wasn't until Kurt got up and said he had to go because of an early flight the next morning, that it started to rain. Will called everyone's attention and stood in front of the group, as he had as their teacher many years before, and told everyone of his condition. Granted Tina, Mike, herself and Quinn already knew but Will stood in front of them, strong and brave and told everyone his story and how Rachel was helping him out with glee. He made sure that everyone knew that none of what was happening to him meant that they had to treat him any differently and that it shouldn't be allowed to disrupt any of their lives. Afterwards, with tears in their eyes, those who were currently in the Evans' living room shared a group hug, as well as individual ones, before the group started to dispersing across the country once more.

* * *

The day before McKinley was scheduled to resume classes, Rachel met with Will inside the choir room to discuss how they were going to run the club and what the plan was going to be heading towards regionals. Glee had not been co-directed since Sue Sylvester in 2009 and Rachel was determined that this not be a repeat of that experience. (Not that she was anything like Sue Sylvester or out to get destroy the club). So, with two cups of coffee in her hands she walked into the choir room and found Will sitting on at the piano. Rachel said hello and offered him one of the cups in her hand, which he graciously accepted, and then moved towards Will's office and when she emerged she was pulling his desk chair behind her. She set it in front of the piano, sat down, and crossed her legs.

"How are you?" Rachel asked.

"Rachel, we aren't going to have this conversation every time we see each other."

"Mr. Shuester," Rachel started, "I am uncertain as to where your apparent agitation is coming from. I was simply using a greeting that has been established in our society, and from what I understand it is usually rhetorical or at least the greeter has no real desire to know the answer to the question. I am not asking you for an in-depth report on your health. A simple 'I'm fine Rachel, how are you?' would have sufficed."

It took nothing more than an old school Rachel Berry rant to make Will smile, "I'm fine Rachel, how are you?"

"Great. Now let's get to work. I was up late last night coming up with a selection of material that I'm expecting you to veto but I will present to you nonetheless."

"I'm sure I won't veto it all," Will said with a tiny laugh, "And you are co-director now Rachel. You have a say in what we do."

"Actually," Rachel said, "this is my binder from senior year, so I doubt you're going to want any of this. It was just a prop. I've got a few ideas but nothing like the list I had when I was a member of the club myself."

"What happened with that Rachel? Why aren't you inviting us to parties to celebrate your hundredth Tony win in your luxurious New York apartment?"

Rachel hesitated for a moment. They were supposed to dealing with business not digging into all the failures of Rachel's life. But he meant her no harm she knew that, so she answered honestly, "Because I lost the correct path. I knew what I wanted but I tried to take a different path to get it when really I probably should have taken the path I knew was right all along."

"And that was?"

"Straight to Broadway, no detours, no fall backs. If I didn't have the PR gig to fall back on I would have tried harder, I wouldn't have had any other choice."

"You got comfortable?" Will questioned.

Rachel cringed at Will's ability to explain her failures better than she could, "Among other things. I was comfortable, busy, trying to make ends meet at home. A girl can't live off of her daddies forever. "

"And what about Puck?"

Rachel hesitated on weather to broach into this subject but decided as long as it didn't go too deep it would be all right and she could handle it, "What about him?"

"Did he persuade you not to try and make it?"

"Absolutely not. Noah has never been anything less than supportive of what I wanted to do. He understood that I was doing it to make sure we had money and I was hoping one of the casting directors my firmed worked with would be able to help me out. But nothing really ever came of it."

"So if he was supportive, why aren't you guys together?"

Rachel took a moment to compose herself. They were there to work and, to dig at the festering wounds that surrounded her heart, "Will let's make a deal. I don't ask you to volunteer any information regarding your health and you don't ask me questions about my relationship with Noah."

Will looked at her for a moment and she wondered what could have possibly been going through his head at the moment. Then he nodded, "Deal."

* * *

As much as Rachel enjoyed directing the club, when Will returned, she allowed him to have the most control. Because it really was Will's club, and Rachel wanted him to feel like it was his club. Therefore, Will made most of the decisions regarding song selection (he actually chose one from her binder) and arrangements. Nevertheless, he gave Rachel her own number to direct with little intrusion on his part. And when the subject of hairography came up, Rachel couldn't help but laugh remembering Brittany's demonstration of hairography her sophomore year. Will offered to let Rachel demonstrate for the class but she settled on finding a youtube clip and then made it a clear point to everyone in the room that it was never to be done while she was around.

Just a month before regionals, Will had a new song idea for the club. He told Rachel that he was certain that this song would be perfect for their set list. He also told her that he wanted to perform it for the class. Rachel cautioned Will against it. But he offered a guarantee that he would be fine and Rachel couldn't say no to the excitement in his eyes, and in his smile. He hadn't done much physically since coming back, and that was because he wasn't supposed to. Nevertheless, he was feeling better and better lately, and he even offered reports on his health to Rachel voluntarily. So Wednesday afternoon, Will brought the group into the auditorium and got up on stage in front of everyone for the first time in a very long time and gave a performance that put not only a tear in Rachel's eye, but a smile on her face. When she was in the very club she helped run now, she usually hated when the man in front of her now would break into random performances (most of the time because he was rapping). But now, she was proud; because as much as Will wanted life to go on without the constant reminder of his illness, Rachel knew that it was always taunting Will in the back of his mind, and watching him do something so brilliantly, and have control over it made him happy, so in turn it made Rachel happy.

But once Will finished, his demeanor changed. He was suddenly paler than before as he stood in the middle of the stage practically gasping for air. Rachel rushed up onto the stage but he just pushed her away as he attempted to control his breathing. Rachel watched horrified, her hand on her phone, hoping she didn't have to use it as she waited for Will to regain himself. Rachel let out a semi-relieved breath when Will stood up a little straighter and dismissed everyone else back to the choir room and then ordered Rachel to go with them and rehearse one of the other numbers they were planning for regionals. When Rachel argued Will looked at her sharply.

"I'll meet you in there Rachel," he said before taking another large breath, "Just get them working and I'll be in shortly."

He didn't make it back there. Instead, Emma sent her a text that said she brought him home. Rachel dismissed rehearsal shortly after that.

* * *

Will didn't make it to rehearsal the next day and Rachel went over to the Shuester house immediately after she left the school; but no one answered the door. She called Emma's cell and then Will's, with no answer from either. Immediately Rachel called Quinn who sounded off but instructed Rachel to go over to her house. When Rachel begged for information over the phone, Quinn refused and told that was watching Eric and had gotten off the phone with Emma short while ago and would fill Rachel in on everything once she arrived. So Rachel, who had always been one to obey all traffic laws to the letter, ignored all the smaller details on her way to Quinn's. She didn't hesitate to not stop completely at the stop sign nor did she really pay much attention to the speed limit. Something was wrong, she knew it, and the suspense that was building just on the short ride over to Quinn's was driving her insane. She parked in the driveway and the car was barely off before she was nearly running towards Quinn who was waiting at the door with Eric in her arms. There was evidence of tears in Quinn's eyes and Rachel immediately though the worst. She looked at Quinn, questioning her without words (she was too afraid to make them), pleading for her to tell her whatever it was that she knew as Quinn directed her to sit.

But she didn't want to sit; she wanted to know. She needed to know what was going on.

"You spoke with Emma. What did she say?" Rachel said unable to keep from asking questions any longer.

"Will's in the hospital."

Rachel wasn't sure if it were right but knowing that Will Shuester was still alive brought relief to her. But it was only for a moment until her heart began to ache for her ailing friend.

"I shouldn't have let him perform yesterday. I should have told him that it was a bad idea even if it would have made him angry. I could have prevented this," Rachel rambled.

"He thought you would say this so I am to relay to you that none of this your fault," Quinn said, "But whatever the doctors have been doing since Will got back from Chicago, it's stopped working."

"He's dying," Rachel said softly thankful that Eric didn't understand the situation around him.

It was quiet for a beat between the girls until Quinn spike, "Emma didn't say what the prognosis is. But he's resting now and we can see him tomorrow. Right now it's just family."

"We are family," Rachel whispered.

Quinn just nodded. There wasn't a point in arguing, it was true.

"Should we call everyone else?" Rachel asked filling the silence that had overcome the girls.

"Emma said not yet. For right now, we'll keep it to those who are in town. No use worrying the other until we know more."

What am I going to tell the kids?" Rachel questioned though she wasn't sure if she was asking Quinn or herself.

"You're done with rehearsals for the week. Take the weekend, see Will and see what he says."

Rachel nodded. She knew that she was most likely going to have to tell the club everything but she also knew that she needed to get them through regionals. They were just a month away and even though right now their leader was going through so much, they needed to go on. That was the show biz motto right? _'The show must go on.' _Rachel was helpless in making things right for Will, but she had no other choice but to go on with those kids and pray for the best in both situations

* * *

Over the next few weeks, things fell into a routine. Every day Rachel would visit Will in the hospital and fill him in on the latest going on with the glee club. They had decided that they were going to tell the group everything. Rachel waited until the end of rehearsal to tell them and by Wednesday the entire group came together, ready to work and Joey told Rachel that they were going to work harder than ever, and win regionals, for their teacher. But while glee club kept moving, things with Will continued to stay the same. He was on medication to help with pain but there wasn't much more they could do for him.

The week before regionals, Rachel had just arrived at the hospital with a bunch of gifts from the club members when she found Emma, Quinn, and Sam gathered outside Will's hospital room, Emma holding tightly to Quinn while Sam held onto Eric.

They almost lost him, but he was now in a coma and after Will had failed to regain consciousness a few days later, the doctors were beginning to feel that the end was coming rather quickly. It was time to worry everyone and Rachel followed Quinn and Sam back to their place to start making the phone calls to all of the original gleeks. Rachel took those in LA, Sam called those locally, and Quinn called everyone else and by the end of the hour, everyone, including Matt Rutherford, were on their way to Lima with the unfortunate task of having to say goodbye to their beloved mentor.

The next day, just before the sun had completely disappeared from the sky, Rachel was busy getting her guest bedroom ready for Brittany and Santana's arrival the next morning when the doorbell rang. She wasn't expecting anyone so she hesitated before heading towards her visitor. The doorbell rang again and Rachel quickened her steps since whoever was on the other side of the door was getting impatient. She couldn't see a shadow of anyone but she could hear the sound of footsteps on the front porch as she reached the bottom of the staircase.

Rachel opened the door enough to see who it was she immediately shut it again. Or at least she tried, but her visitor seemed to have lodged himself between the door and the doorframe in the quick moment that Rachel reacted.

"What are you doing here Noah?" Rachel asked still trying to push the door closed as if she could actually push him away.

"We need to talk," Puck said as she tried to shimmy the rest of the way into the Berry house.

"I'm pretty sure 'get your shit' made it pretty clear we don't have anything to talk about," Rachel said still trying to shut the door on Puck and if she actually looked she would find the door knob digging into Puck's abdomen, "And I've done enough talking."

"But you're not talking to me," Puck said trying to push the doorknob away and get the rest of the way in the house, "Come on Rachel."

Puck gave the door a quick shove, not too hard so it wouldn't knock Rachel over, but it gave him enough room to get completely inside the house and the door to slam shut with Rachel still attached to the knob. She managed to stay standing but once she regained her composure, she gave Puck a look that had many times meant 'I hate that you've won'.

"What do you want?" Rachel asked crossing her arms across her chest and walking past Puck moving herself into the living room. She was grateful when he kept his position next to the door.

"I want you to talk to me."

"About what Noah?" Rachel said shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"What the fuck is going on with you. You leave for a vacation or whatever to get away from me, but I find out, weeks later, that you're not back in New York instead your coaching glee and Quinn calls and says I need to get my ass to Lima now. So why did I need to rush here?"

"Not to talk to me."

Puck let out a frustrated growl, "If you're just going to run me in circles, I'm just going to go. Forgive me for actually trying to save our relationship you seem to have checked out a long time ago."

"Go ahead. Just leave. Avoidance seems to be your strong suit."

"You're recollection of events seems to be a little off Rachel. Because if you remember, you left me."

"You let me go!" Rachel shouted and the silence that filled the room was suddenly the loudest thing either of them had ever heard.

Rachel immediately wished that she could pull those words back into her mouth. She immediately regretted saying them not because they weren't true, but because she didn't want to show this side to Puck. She wanted him to think that she was doing all right and she wasn't falling apart. She wanted everyone to see her like that. So she threw herself into working with the glee club and with Will but the truth was, she still hurt tremendously. She hurt so bad that it was a struggle just to get out of bed in the morning. And she didn't want her dads, or Quinn or especially Puck to know that. But here she was in the middle of her living room in the house she grew up in in the tiny town she tried so desperately to escape showing that part of herself to the man she still loved with all of her heart.

They just stared at each other. Neither of them refusing to break their gaze from the other because this was really a fight for dominance; a fight for their individuals beliefs and for Rachel, an unspoken plea for Puck to show that he loved her enough to change for her.

It dawned on her then that it was completely ridiculous to ask him to change for her when part of what she loved about him was that he knew who he was and he didn't hide it and if you didn't like it he'd show you where the door was.

"Why am I here Rachel?" Puck asked pulling Rachel from her thoughts and Rachel struggled not to focus on the fact that Puck had yet to comment on her accusation that he let her walk away.

Rachel worried her bottom lip between her teeth. He wasn't here for her; she knew that. But she wanted him to be so much that it hurt.

"It's Will," Rachel said answering his question. He hadn't come home for any of the holidays and taking in the confusion that now covered his face, it Quinn hadn't told him anything about what was going on here, "He's sick."

"Like a cold? What kind of sick?"

Rachel swallowed hard before choking out, "It's C-cancer."

His expression suddenly changed. All the anger that had been held in his body moments before seemed to have disappeared in seconds.

"How long?"

"I find out right before I was meant to go back to New York," Rachel explained.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Will told everyone over the holidays. You didn't come to Lima. I figured Quinn or Sam would have told you by now."

"He's been sick for months and no one thought that maybe I should know."

"I'm sorry Noah, like I said, I thought you knew."

"How bad is it?"

Rachel's gaze moved to the floor and focused intensely on the carpet as she thought about what imaginably was happening at the hospital just a few miles away. When she spoke, she didn't look up at the man in front of her, just kept looking at the white carpet.

"He was alright. And then he was good. And then the treatments stopped working. He's been in the hospital for a few weeks. But, um," Rachel tried to fight the quiver in her voice and the tears welling up in her eyes but to no avail, "he's in a coma and they don't really think he's going to wake up."

Rachel pushed the falling tears from her cheeks as she tried taking deep breaths to regain her composure. Waited a moment and looked up to find that Puck's eyes, the ones that normally insisted on holding only anger, lust, and love, held pain and a few tears.

"Come here," he said.

Rachel looked at him bewildered but when he repeated his words and extended his hand out to her, it only took a moment before Rachel was moving forward towards the spot Puck had occupied since he'd gotten in the door. She reached her hand towards his and when they linked, Rachel immediately felt as Puck pulled her towards him until their chests were touching and Puck's other hand was settled on her hip. She wasn't sure what this meant, and she wasn't about to question anything now, but she rested her head on Puck's chest and cried as he held her tightly.

* * *

An hour later, Puck and Rachel were laying on her couch, Puck's arms still wrapped tightly around Rachel as her head lay on his chest. Rachel found a strange sense of comfort being this close to Puck, listening to his heart beat beneath her, the steady rise and fall of his chest, lulling her into an almost sleep like state. They're quiet. The things that needed to be said weren't important right now, or so Rachel told herself. None of their problems meant anything while their friend is dying in a hospital.

"Can we see him?" Puck asked breaking the quiet.

"She looked up at the clock above the television."

"The hospital still has visiting hours for a few more hours."

"Have you seen him?"

"I was there earlier. I brought Emma lunch and let her know Eric was all right."

"Is it strange? Seeing him like that, I mean."

"It's heartbreaking. I still don't believe it's real. I keep hoping that I wake up and everything is different and everything that's happened is just a really bad nightmare."

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course," Rachel said reaching over and grabbing onto Puck's hand, linking their fingers together.

When Rachel looked up to gather Puck's reaction she found him looking back at her. There was no protest to the action and Rachel just shrugged to his questioning gaze. No one should have to experience what Puck was about to experience alone and Rachel was glad that she had Quinn with her when she saw Will for the first time since he was given a short time to live.

* * *

"This isn't fair!" Puck shouted once he and Rachel got back into the car after seeing Will.

"I know," Rachel whispered because she felt she needed to answer him, but there were no words that rationalized anything in this situation.

"Are you going back tomorrow? Can I-Can I come with you?"

"I can't go tomorrow. New Directions have regionals. Finn and Brittany are coming with me.

"You're going somewhere with Finn?"

"And Brittany. I need more than one chaperone for twenty five kids."

"Twenty five?"

"Twenty five."

"That's a lot."

"It is. So I need chaperones and since Quinn and Sam are watching Eric, they can't go with me. And Brittany and Finn offered."

"If you need an extra person, I can come with you."

"Now Noah, this is not the time to play jealous."

"Who said anything about playing?"

"I don't want to take anymore people away from Lima, in case Will," Rachel said and then let the rest of her sentence hang unspoken the air.

"My mom doesn't even know I'm here," Puck said when they arrived back at the Berry house, "Maybe Rebecca isn't home yet and the front door is still open."

"You can stay here, on the couch, if you'd like. My dads are away for the weekend so you won't have to worry about them."

"You don't mind?"

Rachel shook her head as they walked inside the house then dismissed herself to go get some blankets. It was early but Rachel had an early and long day tomorrow and Puck was no doubt tired for traveling and dealing with the many emotions of the day.

When Rachel came back downstairs she had changed into a pair of pajama pants and a long sleeves t-shirt. She smiled at Puck as she handed him the pile of blankets and pillow that sat on top.

"Santana and Brittany will be here early and then Britt and I are leaving around eight. We're stopping to see Will before we head to the school. Santana will probably still be around when you get up, so be nice."

"Aren't I always?"

Rachel gave him a look, "Britt and I should be back sometime before midnight."

Puck nodded putting the pile of blankets on the couch.

"Goodnight, Noah." Rachel said as she made her way back up the stairs.

"Night Rach," Puck responded turning towards her to give her a smile.

Rachel stopped at the top of the stairs but she didn't turn around, "And Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"You really don't need to be jealous of Finn. I've met his girlfriend and she's really lovely. I think he's going to ask her to marry him."

Puck laughed and Rachel smiled as she made her way to her bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **Here's the new chapter. Forgive me for any mistakes that I have missed, I'm sick! There is only going to be one more chapter after this! Thanks again to those who reviewed, alerted, read, favorited. It means the world to me.

R&R please! :D

* * *

When Rachel opened the door to let Brittany and Santana in Saturday morning, Puck was still asleep on the couch. Though all three girls knew that the boy could sleep through almost anything, Rachel 'shushed' them as they quietly flutter up the stairs.

"It was late and he didn't want to wake his mother," Rachel said as a response to the four questioning eyes that greeted her once the trio had entered her bedroom.

"Why was he here in the first place?" Brittany questioned.

"I went with him to see Will," Rachel explained, "We came back here and we went to bed. And as you can tell, my bed was slept in and he's still asleep downstairs," Rachel continued as she gestured towards the bed that she had not finished making before her friends had arrived.

Rachel ignored the questioning glance that the two girls did not aim towards her, but at each other, as if they were having a secret conversation, as she began gathering some of the things she had yet to put into her bags.

A few moments later Rachel's phone rang signaling Finn's arrival. Rachel grabbed her bag along with all of the bags she needed for the club and she and Brittany made their way downstairs to meet Finn at his car, leaving Santana to take the nap she said she desperately needed. Though it was still early morning, the sky held no sun and the clouds sat in the sky dressed in a threatening shade of gray. Once Finn's car was packed, Rachel made one last trip into the house to grab some bottled water from her refrigerator when she noticed Puck sitting up on the couch.

"Morning," he mumbled, not fully awake.

"Morning, Noah," Rachel responded as she grabbed what she needed, "Santana is upstairs, please behave. Remember, Finn and Brittany is coming with me to the New Directions regional competition. Feel free to stay as long as you need and we should be back before seven."

"Yeah, uh," Puck stuttered, "be careful. And make sure you don't let Hudson do anything stupid."

"I won't," Rachel said with a laugh.

"Oh," Puck chimed, "and good luck."

"Thank you, Noah," Rachel said before she nodded quickly and headed out the door.

By the time the trio had arrived at McKinley, it had begun to snow, and hard. Rachel spoke with the bus driver and it was decided that once all the members of New Directions arrived they would immediately begin their journey to the convention center. Rachel would worry about the list of things that needed to be done while they were on the bus.

"I saw that Puck was awake before we left," Brittany said from her seat beside Rachel. Finn was in the back of the bus reliving his days as glee co-captain in slightly exaggerated manner.

"He was," Rachel said.

"Did you talk to him?"

"I was inside for two minutes, Brittany. I reminded him that I had to attend the competition today and that he should stay as long as he likes."

"Are you guys getting back together?"

"I don't know. We haven't discussed anything and I'm not sure there is anything to be discussed."

"But you love him," Brittany pushed.

"We haven't been together for months," Rachel responded, "I don't know if he's seeing someone or if he even wants to be with me. He's only here for Will."

"He's not," Brittany said, "seeing someone I mean."

"Oh," Rachel said, "why have you taken such an interest in our relationship?"

"Because," Brittany started, "Santana and I were maybe thinking of having a commitment ceremony in a couple of months and we were hoping everyone would come."

"Oh great another wedding," Rachel said before realizing that she had spoken her thoughts out loud and they had been completely out of line and then placing her hand over her mouth, "I'm so sorry Brittany, that was terribly rude of me. Of course, I'll be there. Whether Noah and I are together or not."

"Good, because I was kind of hoping you'd be my maid of honor."

"Really? Me?"

"Yes, of course. Santana is my best friend so I obviously can't have her as my maid of honor and then I thought that it should be you."

"Oh Britt, that's incredibly sweet. Of course I'll be your maid of honor," Rachel said, "though this whole thing is actually kind of surprising. I never thought of Santana to be one for weddings."

"I think she just wants the presents and a day where everyone focuses on her. And I want to give it to her."

"Well whatever the reason, I'm happy for the both of you. Soon everyone will be married and I'll have to move to Florida to retire in a senior center."

"But you're so young," Brittany said and Rachel laughed.

As the trip continued, the snow began to fall harder until it was becoming almost impossible to see more than a few feet in front of the bus. Rachel moved to the front of the bus to ask the bus driver if this was going to be an issue and he reassured her that they would make it safely to the convention center.

And they did make it, ten minutes before they were scheduled to go on stage. Always prepared for a crisis, Rachel made sure New Directions were vocally warmed up properly on the bus, though the acoustics were driving her insane. But it was the best she could do. New Directions went from the bus, to the green room to change, to the stage in less than ten minutes. And even though they were scrambling to get on stage, they managed to walk off it with a first place trophy and a tear in their eye as they remembered their sick leader. Once she was off stage, Rachel did little to hide the tears in her eyes from Brittany as the blonde wrapped her in a tight hug. New Directions were going on to nationals, and Rachel wished more than anything that Will could be the one leading them to another victory.

* * *

Not soon after he woke up did Puck make the decision that he was going back to the hospital to see Will. He was even civil enough with Santana to convince her to go with him. Santana had been hesitant at first since she really wanted Brittany to be there with her but Puck reminded her that with Brittany at the competition, she wouldn't be able to go until the next day. He reminded her that the truth was that everyone was in town to see Will; No- everyone was in town to say _goodbye_ to Will and Puck reminded her not to waste her opportunity. Puck had called his mom to let her know that he was in town and that he would be by that night and he hated how excited she sounded when he told her that he spent the previous night on Rachel's couch. She knew better than to say anything about their hopefully impending reunion but Puck could hear the unasked questions dripping from his mother's voice. If he were lucky, he'd get home after she'd gone to sleep.

When Puck and Santana arrived at the hospital, Sam and Quinn were waiting outside Will's room watching Emma and Eric inside. With an uncertain amount of time left, Emma had decided that it would be best for Eric to see his father and for Will to know that Eric was there. Puck planted himself against the wall across from the room watched the family an overwhelming tightness in his chest. The four were quiet, just waiting (no one was really sure what for though) until Kurt, Mercedes, and Artie showed up. Hugs were exchanged, and everyone was updated on Will's condition, Emma still in Will's room. The conversation was light after that. Puck looked up from the spot on the floor he was staring at to meet Quinn's gaze. She gave him a questioning look and he wondered exactly how he was supposed to interpret it. She obviously had questions that she wanted to ask but this wasn't the time or the place so Puck just shrugged. She turned then to Sam who was sitting beside her and whispered something in his ear. And Sam softly argued at whatever Quinn had said before Quinn practically shoved his shoulder and he was out of his seat and headed in Puck's directions.

"Hey man," Sam said, "You wanna get out of here for a little bit. The silence is killing me."

"Sure," Puck said pushing himself off of the wall and following Sam down a hallway to another

waiting area. This one had a television and the basketball game was on so despite the fact that no one was really talking here either, there was some background noise, as Puck sat down in the empty chair across from the television.

"Haven't talked to you in a few weeks," Sam said sitting next to his friend.

"Been busy. Not much time for anything right now. I've got an apartment to pay for."

"You sound bitter."

"Yeah well everything fucking sucks right now okay? And my problems aren't half as important as the shit going on in that room right now so me whining like a little girl isn't going to help anyone."

If it weren't for the fact that Puck realized that his problems weren't the only ones that mattered, Sam could have sworn that he was sitting next to a teenage version of Puck.

"There nothing we can do for Will, but instead of just sitting here staring at each other we can try to work through your problems."

Puck gave Sam a look. Sam had always been smarter, more rational than all the other guys in the club. He was just not noticing that as they grew up, Sam was still wiser.

"I stayed at her house last night," Puck said.

"Rachel's?"

Puck nodded, "And it fucking killed me that she was upstairs in her bed, alone, and I was sleeping on the damn couch."

"You miss her."

"Of course I do," Puck said thinking he may have to revoke Sam's title as 'The Wise One' for his completely obvious comment.

"Then tell her."

"Dude, I don't think it's that easy. She left because I wouldn't marry her."

"Is that still true?"

"Yeah, well, no. Maybe," Puck stammered, "I just know if fucking sucks without her."

"Look man, don't tell anyone, especially Rachel, but even Quinn thinks you're both being stupid and that coming from Rachel's best friend, who will stick with whatever Rachel wants even if she doesn't agree with it."

"I don't know if I've changed my mind. And I don't know how to change hers if I haven't."

"Dude, being married doesn't suck. In fact it's exactly like the arrangement you and Rachel had except a whole lot more legal stuff."

"Then why does it have to happen? If it's exactly what we were doing, why do we have to get married?"

"Because when girls are little, it's all they dream about mostly because society deems it what they're supposed to. But really, it's about security. There's some kind of benefit for being married. And they like to show of the ring when guys hit on them in bars."

"How do you know this?"

"Quinn actually. I pay attention most of the time."

"You're whipped."

Sam shrugged, "Look if you're worried about losing her, wouldn't you rather you guys break up for a real reason than this one?"

"I can't think of any reason that would have happened."

"So stop freaking yourself out and be with her before she finds someone whose going to want to marry her."

Puck stayed silent for a moment knowing Sam's nickname was intact. The idea of Rachel marrying someone else made his blood boil and it wasn't fair of him to not want someone else to marry here when he wouldn't do it himself. So he made the decision that he would make Rachel talk to him when she got back from the competition.

The clicking of heels on the tile caused both Sam and Puck to look up and find Tina who must have arrived while Sam and Puck had been talking with a panicked look on her face.

"You both have to come, right now," Tina said turning back without a response hoping they'd follow her.

"Is it Will?" Puck asked.

Tina never answered.

* * *

"There's got to be something you can tell us, they're our friends," Quinn shouted at the receptionist, Anna, at the front desk of the hospital.

All Quinn knew was that the bus that had been transporting New Directions, Rachel, Finn and Brittany back from regionals had an accident when they lost control of the bus and rolled into a ditch. Most of the performers were all right, a few of them were being treated for cuts and scraps, and a few bumps on the head. But Finn, Rachel, and Brittany were taken behind a door and no one would tell them anything because they 'weren't family'. Quinn spotted Tina, Sam and Puck rushing towards the group gathered around the desk.

"What's going on?" Puck asked when they approached Quinn and the rest of the group waiting.

Quinn looked at him for a second before she whispered, "There was an accident."

Puck looked around and noticed the kids dressed in costumes and McKinley jackets and turned back to Quinn.

"Rachel?"

Quinn shrugged, "They won't tell us anything. We aren't family. I called Benjamin, and they're on there way but it might be a while because of the storm."

Puck pushed past Quinn an instant later and looked down at the tiny woman behind the desk.

"Look lady," he spat, his voice getting louder than he probably had intended "I'm the closet thing she's got to family here right now."

"The doctors are checking on your friends, but we can't give out any information to non-family members. Especially if we don't know how severe the injuries are."

Puck started yelling at the receptionist. He wasn't sure what he was saying, he just knew that he needed answers and they weren't giving them to him and in his moments of panic, he snapped and the woman obviously frightened.

Santana pushed in front of Puck and tried to convince Anna not to call security on the obviously frustrated and angry Puck, Mike and Sam tired to get Puck seated and calm. But it wasn't really working. Puck fought against his friend's arms because truthfully he was scared to sit still. He was scared that if he stopped moving for just a moment that he'd get so far into his head and start imagining the worst, that it was going to take Rachel walking out herself to believe anything but the macabre thoughts that were waiting to dance around his head the second he let them.

He knew that Sam and Mike were yelling at him to calm down so he stopped for a moment, ripped his arms free from the boys and began pacing. A moment later a door opened and Brittany and Finn walked through, Brittany running immediately into Santana's arms, Finn walking towards Kurt, the group immediately coming together around the two. But while everyone rejoiced that Finn only had a cut on his face and Brittany sprained her wrist, Puck was more concerned that Rachel was still nowhere in sight. When he asked, the only thing Finn knew was that she hit her head and that she was unconscious when they took her in the ambulance; he hadn't seen her since.

Sheldon and Benjamin arrived in the midst of all of this, catching Puck's eye almost immediately. Puck watched as they spoke to the receptionist who gave them instructions and then pointed to the group waiting. Benjamin turned catching Puck's pleading eyes and gave him a nod as they both disappeared behind the door that seemed to be secret and you couldn't enter without a password or approval from the gatekeeper. That should have reassured Puck but it did little to calm his nerves. He took a deep breathe and Sam came up and tried once against to get him into a seat telling Puck he'd be no good to Rachel if he had a heart attack. Puck didn't find Sam's attempt at humor entertaining and he sent a scowl in his direction, but took his friends advice. To take his mind off of the situation at hand he imagined what Rachel would say if he had a heart attack because he was stressing over her. She'd berate him for hours but at that moment, he wanted nothing more.

Puck was pretty sure sitting in the waiting room, waiting to hear from the Daddies Berry or Rachel to come out and let everyone know she was, was one of the scariest moments of his life. His legs bounced as his elbows rested against his knees, his hands held his head that was trying to imagine the best cast scenario. The only thing that Puck could come up with though was that as soon as they got out of here, he was telling Rachel that she couldn't go anywhere without him anymore. She was not allowed to drive or go on buses that take show choirs to competitions anymore. But once he had planned an entire speech out in his head, he realized that Rachel would have his head for even suggesting any of those things to her.

So Puck just stared down the hallway that Sheldon and Benjamin had disappeared down. It was empty except a couple of nurses that scurried back and forth between rooms to check on patients. Nothing he could see gave off the vibe that there was something wrong but he knew better than to trust that things were as they seemed. Months back, he thought he and Rachel were perfect. He loved her and would have given her almost anything. But the one thing she wanted from him, he couldn't give her, or wouldn't, whatever. And because of it, she left, leaving him with a partially empty apartment that did nothing but haunt him nightly and a bunch of memories to remind him in the sunlight that she was no longer his. Even without being married, he was planning to spend forever with her. He didn't want anyone else, he just wanted her and for the longest time he thought he was doing the right thing. He wasn't so sure now staring down an empty hallway. He wasn't sure what was going to happen with him and Rachel, but all he knew was that regardless, he needed her to be okay.

His gaze never left the hallway and when he spotted Sheldon and Benjamin coming back towards the waiting room, Puck thought that maybe everything was going to be all right. That was until Sheldon turned to Benjamin and broke down in his partner's arms. As Puck watched the scene unfold before him, he wasn't sure if he wanted to punch something or jump off a building.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** I'm glad my muse didn't abandon me so I could get this out without a super huge break between chapters. Especially since I left that horrid cliffhanger (I love cliffhangers). This is the final chapter and it all comes down to this! Thanks for taking this ride with me even when updates were few and far between. I have no idea what's next for me but hopefully it'll be something soon.

Oh and I have to credit Queer as Folk for some of the dialogue (some taken verbatim) towards the end. As I was writing I remembered the scene and how much Season 5 Brian and Justin related to this story so I wanted to use the words created by the writers of that amazing show. If you've seen the show you'll get it, if not, it'll just be cute LOL

R&R and I hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

Sheldon and Benjamin came back to the waiting group, both with a teary smile on their face. Puck wasn't sure what exactly the sick joke was. He'd spent the last long thirty seconds trying to find a place in his head that could comprehend the fact that Rachel was gone. He knew he could live (barely) if they weren't together, but he wasn't sure if Rachel not being in the world at all was an option he was willing to explore. He was in such a haze that he didn't hear Sheldon say anything but 'she's going to be okay' but even then he wasn't sure if he heard him properly or if it was just his head lying to him. When Puck felt a hand on his shoulder he looked up to see Sheldon standing above him as the older man said 'I'd never lie to you about this son' as if Puck had been thinking out loud and everything that had been coiled up so tightly inside Puck let go and it was for the first time since it all began that he felt he could breath again. Puck didn't ask questions for fear of shaking the balance, but he figured that was why Sheldon had been crying before. Because the relief in knowing Rachel was all right was overwhelming.

Puck swallowed hard before he stood up and walked quickly out the front door of the hospital into the cold storm that had slowed down, but was still continuing outside. He'd grown up a lot since high school, and as much as he'd become a very little less uncomfortable with showing emotions, he refused to cry in front of the group in there. If he did, they would have gathered around him, hugged him, and told him how happy they were but that would just make things worse. He had just thought he had lost Rachel and he had to process this himself. It was freezing outside and his jacket was sitting on a chair in the waiting room, but outside, hidden as much as he could on the side of the building, Puck cried.

He didn't know how long he was out there but he knew that he should go inside because he was freezing but he wasn't sure what came next when he went back in there. When he saw Sheldon Berry coming towards him, with his jacket, he knew that he was his favorite of the Daddies Berry. It was Sheldon who accepted his relationship with Rachel first, who had convinced Benjamin that despite the fact that Rachel and Puck had a rocky history in high school, Rachel was a grown woman by the time they decided to give this a real try. It was also Sheldon who called Puck after Rachel appeared back in Lima to find out exactly what was going on. It was Sheldon who told Puck that all things that were meant to be, will find their way to be. Needless to say, Sheldon was his number one fan.

"You should go back inside," Sheldon said as he approached Puck and handed him his jacket.

"Thanks," Puck said slipping into the warmth of his coat, "I will. Just not sure I'm ready.

"It was a bump on the head. It knocked her out for a little while. But you know how I know she's going to be okay?"

Puck just looked at Sheldon and shrugged.

"Because the first things she asked about were the kids, then Will, then Finn and Brittany, and then you."

"Me? I wasn't even there."

"But you've always been with her."

Puck didn't know how to respond to that. So he stayed quiet and watched the snow fall from the sky.

"I can take you to see her. If that's what you want?" Puck nodded and followed Sheldon into the hospital, past his friends, to the receptionist who seemed to finally give him the password he needed to go down the hallway he'd watched people go down and come out of several times today to room 2354 and before he entered, Sheldon left him with a 'be gentle, be true'.

Puck took a deep breath and entered the room and the feeling in his chest was something he hadn't felt in so long.: a need to be with Rachel, not sexually, but just to be with her, to love her. He felt a small bit of it the night before, but this was so overpowering. He cleared his throat and Rachel turned her attention towards him.

"Noah," she said her voice soft and it was obvious that she had been crying. Her hair was messy and there was a bandage taped to across her forehead.

Puck took a step closer to her. He could see a bruise on her arm and he wanted to be angry at someone but he couldn't be angry at weather, or even the bus driver.

"You're okay?" he asked needing to hear it from her as he walked closer to the bed she sat up in.

He reached the bed and extended his hand to ghost along the side of Rachel's face, afraid to actually touch her as if doing so would break or hurt her in some way. He let his hand fall back to his side after that.

"I'll be fine Noah. It's just a little bump. I'm just glad that this wasn't as bad as I could have been."

"I was freaking out," he admitted.

"My dads told me everyone was waiting outside. I didn't mean to pull everyone away from Will."

"Don't worry about that. As long as you're okay. That's all that matters."

"Finn and Brittany, they're all right too?"

Puck nodded and he wasn't sure if it was instinct or just need but he reached and grabbed on to Rachel's hand. She looked up at him, her brown eyes looking for an answer to an unasked question. They had been close the night before but the conflict that had driven them apart hadn't been addressed and both of them knew it needed to be. Despite the uncertainty, Rachel wrapped her fingers around Puck's hand in response, never taking her eyes off the man in front of her.

"I miss you," Puck said.

"I miss you too," Rachel responds.

"I want us to be together,"

"Noah," Rachel

"I know this isn't the best time for this. But it's true. I've been sitting in New York fucking miserable while you've been here and I get you were helping Will but you belong in New York. You belong with me."

"Noah, there isn't anything in New York for me."

"Yes there is," he said, "there's me."

"Noah my," Rachel paused, "my conditions haven't changed."

"So marry me."

"What? Noah?"

"Marry me."

"But you were so against marriage."

"But I'm more against not being with you. And if that's what it takes, I'll do it. And whatever else I have to do." "Don't do this for me. I don't want you to go against what you believe in just to make me happy."

"In my previous statement I used 'I' a whole lot. Hate to burst your bubble baby, but this isn't about you. It's about me. Me being with you."

"You're just doing this because of the accident. Because you freaked out. You're going to wake up tomorrow and the shock is going to wear off and you're going to regret it and then you're going to regret me."

"Never."

"Noah-"

"Just say yes," Puck said, "Just say yes and we can go get Finn to be ordained online or something."

"I'm not allowing Finn to marry us. And I-I can't say yes. At least not now. I-I have to think about this. This day has already been traumatic enough."

"Me asking you to marry you has been traumatic?"

"Noah you know what I mean. I just really haven't processed everything yet. Give me some time. Please?" Rachel said squeezing Puck's hand.

Puck nodded, "I'm sure Quinn's going to want to get in here soon."

"Can you go check on Will for me? If she doesn't know, don't tell Emma about any of this. She's got enough to worry about."

"Yeah sure," Puck said squeezing Rachel's hand once before reluctantly letting go and heading towards the door.

"Noah," Rachel said stopping Puck just before he crossed the threshold.

"Yeah," he said turning back to Rachel.

"Even though I need time to think, I love you, "she confessed, "I mean, I still do."

Puck smiled, "Me too baby. Me too," he said before exiting.

* * *

Rachel spent three days practically hiding from Puck inside Quinn's house. It wasn't that she was avoiding Puck per se but she had a lot of questions to answer, her own and his, and if she was at home, he could find her easily. And she told her dads to go back to work the day after the accident so there was nothing to stop him from coming in. It's not that she thought he would stalk her like that; she just didn't want to take any risks. That and she really needed to talk it through this with Quinn.

When Rachel told Quinn that Puck had finally asked her to marry him, Quinn shouted 'thank god!' then looked thoroughly disappointed when Rachel told her that she hadn't given Puck an answer. The blonde sat her friend down on her couch and gave it to her straight.

"Look," Quinn said, "accident or not, he loves you. I didn't tell him why he needed to come back to Lima; he just assumed it was for you. This is what you've wanted. You didn't have this, so you left New York. You've got it, so go."

"He's not going to move back here. There's nothing for me in New York."

"That's crap Rachel and you know it. You belong in New York. Yes it was a blast having you here but you don't belong here. So you will go back and you will be the star you're supposed to be and you're going to marry Puck and give my unborn baby a best friend."

"You're pregnant?"

"No, but I want to be and Sam got a job in New Jersey so we're going to be a lot closer and I kind of want everything to be perfect."

"What about New Directions? What about Will? I don't know if I can make this choice, I can't just abandon them."

"Finish the school year; we're moving in the beginning of August."

"Quinn, I don't know."

"OH MY GOD!" Quinn shouted in frustration, "Rachel. Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to marry him?"

"Yes."

"Then what the hell is the problem?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, that's it," Quinn said picking up her phone off of the coffee table, "I can't just sit back anymore. I was sympathetic in the beginning but now you two are driving me nuts."

"Who are you calling?" Rachel said as she watched Quinn sit up from the couch and put distance between them.

"Puck. He's going to come over here and the two of you can tell him yes or I swear, I'm going to, Puck, hello-" Quinn said interrupting her when Puck answered the phone, "I need you to get over here immediately. We're specializing in emergencies here in Lima now so yes get over here quickly."

Puck showed up fifteen minutes later. When Quinn answered the door she took his car keys from his hand looked at both of them and said, "Neither of you and leaving this house until I'm going to be in a damn wedding that isn't my own." before heading out the door and apparently getting in her car and driving who knows where.

"I think I made her angry," Rachel said standing.

"You mean she's not always like that?" Puck said laughing and he was grateful when Rachel laughed with him.

"Her and Sam are moving to New Jersey."

"That's a lot closer to New York than Lima."

"Do you really want to marry me?"

"Yes," Puck said without hesitation before he reached into the pocket and pulled out a tiny black box, "I got this. Well actually it was Nana Connie's but I went and got it from my mom. You should have seen the look on her face."

"What changed your mind?"

"I found a good reason to do it."

"And what was that?"

"To prove to the person I love how much I love them."

"You risked telling your mother about this, not knowing what my answer would be."

"I'm taking a chance on love."

"Then you mean it."

"I've never meant anything more."

Rachel observed the man in front of her, the man she loved more than she ever expected she was capable. She took a step closer and grabbed hold of the front of his jacket, "okay"

"Okay?"

"Let's do this,"

"Say it,"

"Yes,"

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, yes, I'll marry you," Rachel said pulling herself closer and she smiled when she felt Puck's hands on her waist, pulling her closer, "I'll marry you."

Their lips pressed together for the first time in months sending warm electricity through both of them. Puck wanted nothing more than to make up for the lost time between the two but Rachel pushed back just slightly and reminded him that they were in Quinn's house and it would be terribly rude. Puck sighed in defeat but holding her this close was the next best thing. So he opened the ring box to show the beautiful ring that had belonged to his Nana who longed for nothing more than for Puck to continue the line of Puckermans with a beautiful Jewish wife. Puck took the ring out of the box and reached for Rachel's left hand.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked.

"Bring it," Rachel said as Puck slipped the ring onto her finger.

* * *

Rachel and Puck got married near Schoonover Lake that July. There was no need for a long engagement and Rachel had (surprisingly) settled on a small wedding. There were exactly twenty people (counting the Rabbi) in attendance, and that included both Will and Emma. As if it were some kind of omen an hour after Rachel had agreed to marry Puck, and just as Quinn was returning with their keys, Emma called and despite everything, Will had woken up.

Just before school let out for the summer, New Direction directed by both Rachel and Will (once he was feeling better) made their way to Chicago for Nationals and came home with a first place trophy.

Quinn, of course, was the maid of honor, the rest of the original glee girls Rachel's bridesmaids, along with Puck's sister. The original glee guys, Puck's groomsman. It was like having all of their family up there with them Rachel wouldn't have had it any other way. Rachel walked down the aisle, both fathers at her sides, all eyes fixed on her but she met only one pair. She smiled looking into Puck's eyes seeing the future for the first time in a long time. She was getting married and when she and Puck returned to New York, leaving New Directions in Will's very capable hands, Rachel had an audition in front of a very well respected producer for a part in the Broadway revival of Evita (one of her contacts actually paid off).

'I Do's' were said, kisses exchanged, smiles and tears from everyone, but one thing was certain at the end of the day. When it all broke down, they realized that it wasn't really broken; it just needed a different perspective. And even though it took a lot of sadness and tears, both Puck and Rachel felt that the way they saw the future now made them stronger, together and as individuals, and it was going to take a lot more to destroy them again.

* * *

AN: For those who were worried, I usually always have a happy ending. Thanks for reading!


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